• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    To be fair, there are distinct advantages to living in a redneck family.

    For example, only one person needs to get tested at the STD clinic.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      My mate's prowess with the older ladies has earned him the nickname d'Artagnan.


      He's had three musky dears.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        gotta use this one

        The memory on my phone is FIFA'ed

        Sorry...corrupt.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          Isn't chocolate expensive?
          Just bought a Mars, a Galaxy and a Milky Way.
          It was astronomical!
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            Blimey that FIFA 16 game is realistic.

            Mine arrived in a plain brown envelope.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Johnny Depp could be facing jail time for bringing dogs into Australia.

              I was going to take the wife to Sydney, but I'll not bother now.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                What did Captain Jack Sparrow do when he got too drunk to steer his ship?

                Put it onto autopirate
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Had a job interview with al-Qaeda today.

                  "Where do you see yourself exploding in five years?" they asked.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    You wouldn't steal a car.

                    If I could illegally download one and not be traced I bloomin would.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

                      None, they just beat the room for being black
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X