Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

I've made a film about guys that struggle to ejaculate.

Coming next spring.

[vetran]

I've just seen the specs for the new iPhone 6 and there's one glaringly obvious reason why I have to have it on the first day of release:


....it's because I'm a pretentious cock!

[vetran]

A study shows that men with large penises are more confident ...

While women with large penises win more Wimbledon finals.

[vetran]

KP again?

I'd choose to have sex with my Henry Hoover over women any time.

No attachments.

[vetran]

"Any chance of some head?", I asked the barmaid.

"No **** off!", she frothed."what's wrong with you do you have issues or something?!"

"As a matter of fact I do", I replied. "Either your pumps are dodgy or the beers flat".

[vetran]

So I paid to have sex with a donkey last night. I feel absolutely disgusted now. Just after I finished I realised it was a male. Turned out to be He-Whore.

[vetran]

and for Suity

I went to see my doctor. "I'm a bedwetter, Doc," I told him, sheepishly.

"Nothing to be ashamed of," he reassured me. "A lot of people can't control their bladder when they're asleep."

"I didn't realise you had to be asleep ..." I muttered.

[vetran]

What's worse than having a girlfriend with no tits?

Having no girlfriend and tits.

[vetran]

Thank **** for that: Cliff Richard a suspected paedo. Now we won't have to listen to his tulipe every Christmas.

Anybody been touched up by Noddy Holder?

[Alias]

A man goes to the Doctors and says, "Every time I masturbate, I shout C'mon Man United!" The Doctor replied, "Most do"