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Please put more jokes here

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    I'm a bit of a technophobe.

    I think it's because I once got beaten up at a rave.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      It can't be much fun being gay.

      Your friends are always moaning behind your back.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        Scientists examining global warming are stuck on a boat in the Antarctic.

        The ice is so thick it doesn't understand what global warming is
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          What do feminists hate more than a sexist joke?

          Having it explained to them by a man.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            Nigella Lawson has come out in sympathy over Michael Schumacher's accident.

            She is quoted as saying "I know exactly how he feels. I, myself have been pretty ****ed up after a faceful of snow."
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              I was drinking at a bar the other night when a fat girl came over and started to flirt with me.
              After a while she leaned in and whispered to me "Wanna know what I've been missing?"

              Apparently "Exercise" was not what she was going to say.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                January 31st begins the Chinese year of the horse.

                Just be careful of the Tesco special edition burger.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  "In 2013, I saw Beyoncé, Rhianna, Britney and Kesha."

                  "In concert?"

                  "No, in Netto. I live on a council estate."
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    My new girlfriend is so tall, I go up on her.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      I bet Jo Brand and Miranda Hart give amazing blow jobs.

                      Seeing as they both have no gag reflex.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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