Private care for father-in-law

[Gibbon]

Can't help with the finances, but the care model he may need

Unless you've had an assessment of needs you may be jumping the gun by going straight for a care home.

Home first is the new push now as it keeps people more able for longer and is cheaper. The fact that you say he came round to you and asked for help may mean he still has enough capacity to manage with help coming in for a good while, there is also help available with day centres etc a few days a week which can provide a lot of stimulation. A standard care home may not be the best place and are usually now used for the last two years of life. Obviously if you are self funding you can decide at any time.

Another big push is Extra Care housing where staff are on site 24/7 but the customer has their own front door.


TBH get an assessment of needs of which he should be involved in and go from there. The ideal now days is to miss out on care homes and go from home/extra care to nursing home only when necessary.

[quackhandle]

Thanks Gibbon.

That is what we are waiting on now, full Care Assessment.

qh

[edison]

As per Gibbon, get a needs assessment done first.

We did this with my dad who had dementia and Parkinson's disease when we first thought he might need to go into a home.

Although the prevailing advice is to explore avenues to keep an elderly person at home as long as possible, this needs to be balanced out with the potential strain on any other family members. My dad had 2-4 care visits a day and paid for a sleep in night time carer. Cheaper than going to a home but longer term it took it's toll on my elderly stepmum.

His condition got so difficult that eventually he had an assessment for Continuing Health Care (CHC) and the NHS took over his care from Social Services. The NHS paid for him to stay in a care home the rest of his life; over two years that saved us £130k. The bar is set high for this though.

Bear in mind the average life expectancy in a care home is a lot lower than at home at all ages after 65.

[Gibbon]

My dad had 2-4 care visits a day and paid for a sleep in night time carer. Cheaper than going to a home but longer term it took it's toll on my elderly stepmum.

That is a particularly good point if it applies and one that people forget about (including me). That was a lot of intrusion into your home, my MIL wouldn't have more than 2 visits a day for FIL for that reason. Where I live there is quite good provision for daycare 2- 3 days a week which helps, also you can get respite for holidays etc, but some people get worse in unfamiliar surroundings, even short term.

Good luck, there is no easy answer with this and no one right answer, if you try to put the person and any carers/partners needs first you will do alright.