Best ever Dilbert?

**Swamp Thing** · 13 December 2006, 13:12

Whoops, that was a £1,000,000 bonus. There, I killed the joke

**To BI or not to BI?** · 13 December 2006, 13:13

My favourite:

Rule 1: the customer is always right
Rule 2: They must be punished for their arrogance

Perfectly apply to our world, me thinks

**VectraMan** · 13 December 2006, 15:06

My favourite bit of Dilbert was in the TV series. They discover an empty cubicle so take the oppurtunity to dump all their old redundant equipment in there, but to stop HR assigning the cubicle to anybody else they put a sign on the cubicle with a made up name.

Later the pointy haired boss sees all the equipment in this cubicle and thinks "this guy must be a genius" and puts him in charge of the project.

**Lucy** · 13 December 2006, 15:29

Catbert and travel allowance, something about having to cook a pidgeon you've stunned with your briefcase on your travel iron.

**Sockpuppet** · 13 December 2006, 15:46

Wally: "What management style are we going to be using in this meeting. Authoritive, Rational, Democracy..."

Point Haired Boss: "Shut you're cake hole"

**MobileCheese** · 13 December 2006, 16:46

Like this one

http://f2.org/image/comic/dilbert-motto.gif

**TheFaQQer** · 13 December 2006, 18:35

Dilbert and salesman are on their way to see a client.

Salesman: I guess you'd better tell me something about the product.
D: Well, it comes in a yellow box.
S: Woah! Information overload.

As someone who's had to pick up the pieces, after salesmen have gone home with a nice commission, I can relate to that!

**wobbegong** · 14 December 2006, 08:06

At Dogbert's communication seminar . . .

Dogbert: There's really no point listening to other people, they either agree with you or say stupid stuff.

*thinks* That should cut down on the questions.

**Bear** · 19 December 2006, 16:14

best ever!!!

Surely you've seen this one

Catbert (evil HR director): You've been a good contract employee, we'd like to make you a regular employee.

Contractor: You mean you want to pay me less money?

Catbert: We'd like you to be motivated by something other than money.

Contractor: **** that!

Best ever Dilbert?