Best ever Dilbert?

[Bear]

best ever!!!

Surely you've seen this one

Catbert (evil HR director): You've been a good contract employee, we'd like to make you a regular employee.

Contractor: You mean you want to pay me less money?

Catbert: We'd like you to be motivated by something other than money.

Contractor: **** that!

[wobbegong]

At Dogbert's communication seminar . . .

Dogbert: There's really no point listening to other people, they either agree with you or say stupid stuff.

*thinks* That should cut down on the questions.

[TheFaQQer]

Dilbert and salesman are on their way to see a client.

Salesman: I guess you'd better tell me something about the product.
D: Well, it comes in a yellow box.
S: Woah! Information overload.

As someone who's had to pick up the pieces, after salesmen have gone home with a nice commission, I can relate to that!

[MobileCheese]

Like this one

http://f2.org/image/comic/dilbert-motto.gif

[Sockpuppet]

Wally: "What management style are we going to be using in this meeting. Authoritive, Rational, Democracy..."

Point Haired Boss: "Shut you're cake hole"

[Lucy]

Catbert and travel allowance, something about having to cook a pidgeon you've stunned with your briefcase on your travel iron.

[VectraMan]

My favourite bit of Dilbert was in the TV series. They discover an empty cubicle so take the oppurtunity to dump all their old redundant equipment in there, but to stop HR assigning the cubicle to anybody else they put a sign on the cubicle with a made up name.

Later the pointy haired boss sees all the equipment in this cubicle and thinks "this guy must be a genius" and puts him in charge of the project.

[To BI or not to BI?]

My favourite:

Rule 1: the customer is always right
Rule 2: They must be punished for their arrogance

Perfectly apply to our world, me thinks

[Swamp Thing]

Whoops, that was a £1,000,000 bonus. There, I killed the joke

[Swamp Thing]

Dilbert: I’ve just read the annual Report & Accounts. How come the CEO got a £1,000,00 bonus and we got nothing?

Boss: That’s because he’s a hundred times better than you.

Dilbert: Does that mean I can have the £10,000 bonus you say I am worth?

I love this stuff. There are Dilbert moments every day at my client.