Yuletide marriage guidance

[BrilloPad]

At this time of forced proximity to our nearest and dearest, here's a few hints and tips for you gentlemen.

1) Think about the ratio of positive to negative things you say to your partner

If all you've said over the last two days is:

You've loaded the dishwasher wrong
The brussel sprouts could have done with a bit longer
You've cross threaded the lid on the cranberry jelly
Did you have to put the sandwich toaster there?
You're treading mud into the carpet
Who finished the toilet paper and didn't bring a new one up?
You've put the butter back in the wrong place
You've tipped the Pringles sideways
Can you shut the door? You're always leaving it open


Don't be surprised if she doesn't fancy nookie tonight. (Or ever.)

Is that how MrMS has been treating you? If you ever need a portion, I will oblige. At my age its a huge undertaking - but I feel I should behave as a gentleman.

[MarillionFan]

Is that how MrMS has been treating you? If you ever need a portion, I will oblige. At my age its a huge undertaking - but I feel I should behave as a gentleman.

Portion? You back working in that chip shop again?

[OwlHoot]

Portion? You back working in that chip shop again?

either that or he's been watching Jethro DVDs

[mudskipper]

Marital harmony now restored.

[TestMangler]

Marital harmony now restored.

Ah, so you gave him a blowy then....

[MyUserName]

Ah, so you and attractive lady friend gave him a blowy then....

FTFY

[greenlake]

Marital harmony now restored.

You shared a bar of chocolate?

[administrator]

Ah, so you put the butter back in the right place then....

FTFY

[BigRed]

The dishwasher thing baffles me. Mrs MUN loads it such that half the space is wasted. I never bother telling her, I just move them around an put the rest of the stuff in when he is not looking.

I find most women (I never actually witness men doing the laundry) never think about how it actually works, that water gets squirted up from below and needs clearance around each item. Similarly they routinely overload the washing machine despite it being obvious that things need space to clean and dry properly.

Do you ever get the 'I've been washing all day' quote? that's at best sorting and loading for 5mins then wait 2 hrs, transfer to dryer, wait another hour.

[mudskipper]

I find most women (I never actually witness men doing the laundry) never think about how it actually works, that water gets squirted up from below and needs clearance around each item. Similarly they routinely overload the washing machine despite it being obvious that things need space to clean and dry properly.

Do you ever get the 'I've been washing all day' quote? that's at best sorting and loading for 5mins then wait 2 hrs, transfer to dryer, wait another hour.

Well if it's all such a doddle, and you're so much better at it, then there's an obvious solution.