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Oh for bloody hell's sake... (Christmas Thread)

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    #21
    An old mate's one:



    It's been building up
    Now we're coming up
    To the time of year when greed is good
    Snow and icicles
    The price triples
    But you wouldn't change it if you could

    The tills ring out like jingle bells
    The kitchen's filled with murderous smells
    No-one's going to end up hungry here
    We'll snooze under the Xmas tree
    While boring films play on T.V.
    Forget about reality - cheers!

    It's Xmas, Xmas, Xmas bloody Xmas
    It's all you ever hear
    Xmas, Xmas, Xmas bloody Xmas
    Until it almost sounds sincere

    Carol singers croon
    Sentimental tunes
    Suddenly your problems disappear
    Am I losing touch
    Or did I drink too much
    Or is a real solution nowhere near?

    This great big party never stops
    Hang tinsel round your cardboard box
    Last year's leftovers are back in the shops
    And landfills spew out plastic bags
    From lorryloads of booze and fags
    God, don't you hate this time of year?

    It's Xmas, Xmas, Xmas bloody Xmas
    It's all you ever hear
    Xmas, Xmas, Xmas bloody Xmas
    Until it almost sounds sincere
    Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!


    Under studio lights the Santas fry
    In shows recorded last July
    And tanned professionals read their lines
    To moth-eaten reindeer
    Play victim in fake-snowball fights
    Where no-one's injured, no-one dies
    No-one has to sleep outside
    Freezing and in fear
    Singing, "Goodwill to all mankind!"
    We'll put things right some other time
    Meanwhile - that special day is here

    So happy Xmas, happy bloody Xmas
    It almost sounds sincere
    Happy Xmas, happy bloody Xmas
    It almost sounds sincere
    Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
    Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.

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      #22
      Its Kevin BL**dy Wilson so NSFW

      Kevin Bloody Wilson - Christmas Song Lyrics
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        #23
        I hate them all the Band Aid one is really egregious, but I reserve special hatred for Jona ****** Lewie bastard cavalry wank

        Comment


          #24
          Bob Dylan did a Christmas album a few years ago. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Christmas-Th.../dp/B002MW50KO
          This was one of the best songwriters and worst singers playing to his weakness.

          Comment


            #25
            Prep school. <titter>
            Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

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              #26
              Originally posted by suityou01 View Post
              Prep school. <titter>
              Titter ye not!
              And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

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                #27
                Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
                Titter ye not!
                Was that one of the games, like wet biscuit?
                Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

                Comment


                  #28
                  Originally posted by suityou01 View Post
                  Was that one of the games, like wet biscuit?
                  No, fudge nudger.
                  And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

                  Comment


                    #29
                    Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
                    No, fudge nudger.
                    Ah, halcyon days eh?
                    Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

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