Alcohol free drinks

[doodab]

Agree on the first bit; utterly stupid and just a sign of being a bit of a sheep. Abstinence isn't necessary if you practice moderation though.

I've been practicing moderation for years, I'm still useless at it.

[sasguru]

I've been practicing moderation for years, I'm still useless at it.

It's easy. Stop at two (very excellent) drinks.*

HTH.

*And I don't mean bottles

[Mich the Tester]

Agreed. I meant abstain from getting drunk rather than alcohol.
I buy very expensive wines and malts and drink them slowly.

Indeed; some people buy the cheapest wine they can find. Better to buy the best you can afford and savour it.

[Mich the Tester]

I've been practicing moderation for years, I'm still useless at it.

Get yourself some top class Barolo or another big, powerful red wine; it's too expensive to drink in huge amounts, and it's arguably better the 1st and 2nd day after opening it, so if you drink the bottle in one go you'll be missing a great experience. Top rieslings can be like that too, if you prefer white.

[TheFaQQer]

Abstinence isn't necessary if you practice moderation though.

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder, though.

[Mich the Tester]

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder, though.

There was a chap who had an unusual flatulence related OCD issue; every time he farted he shouted 'Honda!' So he went to see a long line of shrinks and gastro-enteroligists including Harley Street's finest, and none of them could solve the conundrum, until finally he visited a Japanese doctor who discovered he had an abcess in a sensitive spot. 'An abcess?' he said, a little discombobulated.
'Yes sir!' replied the doctor. 'Abcess make the fart go Honda!'

[EternalOptimist]

There was a chap who had an unusual flatulence related OCD issue; every time he farted he shouted 'Honda!' So he went to see a long line of shrinks and gastro-enteroligists including Harley Street's finest, and none of them could solve the conundrum, until finally he visited a Japanese doctor who discovered he had an abcess in a sensitive spot. 'An abcess?' he said, a little discombobulated.
'Yes sir!' replied the doctor. 'Abcess make the fart go Honda!'

Ah yes, the old Japanese doctor joke.

Wasn't he the bloke who used in vitro fertilisation to grow a young geisha, for his own uses.
But the baby grew a willy and tried to bone him so he punched it out.
Then he got arrested for making an obscene clone fall

[mudskipper]

I've been practicing moderation for years, I'm still useless at it.

I'm familiar with drinking in moderation. It's a stepping stone to oblivion.

Actually, there's a pub in Reading called the Moderation...

[doodab]

I'm familiar with drinking in moderation. It's a stepping stone to oblivion.

Actually, there's a pub in Reading called the Moderation...

When I lived in Clapham my local was called oblivion. I often ended up there.

[Jubber]

I'm familiar with drinking in moderation. It's a stepping stone to oblivion.

Actually, there's a pub in Reading called the Moderation...

There is (or was) a bar just north of London Bridge called 'The Fine Line'