Cousin has a divorce hearing on Monday

[Old Greg]

It is very very bad if he has not seen the kids.

Does he view the marriage as dead?

If he wants to make it work he is in a stronger position - he can suggest councelling etc.

Sounds like the DV angle is the usual - women make this stuff up to get their own way. Men just can't win.

Without knowing ALL the facts its very hard to give advice - but he will get a thorough kicking whatever he says.

However IMO he should concentrate on the needs of the children (and point out that she is not). He should try to stay in the house at all costs. He should not agree to leave unless access is agreed.

If its any help to him tens of thousands of guys go through this every year - but few talk about it. Whatever he does will be wrong.

Oddly enough my friend's sister's ex is using a DV angle on her.

[AtW]

It was much easier in old time when divorce wasn't allowed even for Monarches...

[vetran]

It was much easier in old time when divorce wasn't allowed even for Monarchs...

E's are bad in this case

http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/PowerandControl.pdf

Apparently this is how men abuse women, should be interesting to see how many boxes she ticks.

[mudskipper]

E's are bad in this case

http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/PowerandControl.pdf

Apparently this is how men abuse women, should be interesting to see how many boxes she ticks.

That does seem rather one sided - women can and do exercise similar control over men (perhaps less commonly?). But as a definition of an abusive relationship without it's pretty spot on.

[vetran]

That does seem rather one sided - women can and do exercise similar control over men (perhaps less commonly?). But as a definition of an abusive relationship without it's pretty spot on.

indeed, I was comparing it to exes and even the delightful mrs V. I must admit I have done some of those things as well. They are pretty much the coin of any relationship, the trick is that they are small change and they get thrown away when the real money (love) comes in.

[AtW]

That does seem rather one sided - women can and do exercise similar control over men (perhaps less commonly?).

Much more commonly, but also much more subtly...

[mudskipper]

Much more commonly, but also much more subtly...

It's probably true that women manipulate men in a different way. If that's the men abusing women chart, it would be interesting to see the women abusing men chart.

[AtW]

It's probably true that women manipulate men in a different way. If that's the men abusing women chart, it would be interesting to see the women abusing men chart.

Abusing Trust (lying) would be at 9pm...

[BrilloPad]

You never really know anyone until you divorce them.

[socialworker]

You never really know anyone until you divorce them.

so true