Practising being a recruiter at WH Smith

[Gym beast]

I am wholly self taught as a recruiter and people occasionally wonder what one needs to do to build skills of being arrogant, supercilious, high handed and talking too loudly.

I do this by applying these respected techniques in my everyday life.

So last week I was in WM Smith and overheard them shafting some old guy who'd bought some booklet which turned out to have pages missing.

Turns out that WH Smith don't give receipts for "small" items and therfore were refusing to refund him.

Being the sort of self important bastard I am, I joined in the conversation, pointing out the Sale of Goods act, and using phrases like "you sold him defective goods" more frequently and loudly than normal polite conversation would require. I helped this old guy make a fuss and asked to see the manager. It may surprise you to learn that I clearly used these phrases even when no one was speaking to me and in a way that ensured all customers in the central London store heard it, several times.

They at first refused and asked what it was to do with me, I pointed out in a loud clear voice that as a City Headhunter it was my duty to ensure that people's rights were respected. For some reason this duty is not well known and they were taken aback.

I then referred to him as my friend, since as we all know, recruiters are friends with everyone and the old guy saw this as a chance to get past the WH Smith staff trying to palm him off.

The manager turned up, but of course it wasn't the manager, just some sort of section manager who again tried to claim that WH Smith's policies over rode the Sale of Goods act. I spoke clearly again, and again, always politely (if rather loudly) and kept a distance from the shop staff so that they could not claim that a scar faced gap tooth basted in a bomber jacket was threatening them.

So I fiddled with my phone a bit and asked for the name of the person I was dealing with because my phone was by now ringing the media relations manager at WH Smith and I let it drop that I was also a journalist. Suddenyl, as if by magic the manager turned out *not* to be in a meeting after all and was only too happy to give a refund.

I patronised him for a bit, for no good reason other than to make him look small in front of his team because it was almost certain that the instructions to refused refunds on shoddy goods came from him.

While I applaud your efforts to lift the great unwashed ignorati out of their suffering and the resulting bloody nose you gave a couple of their oppressors who steal the bread from their grubby palms, I have a few qualms with your account:

1) You didn't mention what you replied when asked by the staff, "What's it got to do with you?" I personally relish such confrontational questions as it gives me a chance to retort, "You're not important enough to know".

2) Why did you reply that the elder gent was your friend, when it would have sufficed that he was a fellow human being whose basic rights were being infringed, and furthermore, as per the above, it was none of their business anyway?

3) Why would you assume that to quote the gentleman's legal rights loudly and repeatedly, so as to gain support from onlookers, quite a common tactic in many lower areas of life (like playgrounds and recruitment) would surprise us?

4) Why were you wearing a bomber jacket in the middle of a heatwave?

[Dominic Connor]

So finish the job and get him fired by writing to head office.

Or is that just a journalist making stupid (probably defamatory) claims based on insufficient evidence?

I have written to head office, why would you think that I would not ?

The evidence was pretty clear, indeed WH Smith did not dispute that they sold the defective goods, just that as a large company they clearly felt the law did not apply to them.

[Bunk]

FFS, it must take a total lack of any talent whatsoever to end up being both a "headhunter" and a journalist.
Going into politics next?

Weren't you boasting about being headhunted a while back? Doesn't sound so impressive now does it?

[d000hg]

FFS, it must take a total lack of any talent whatsoever to end up being both a "headhunter" and a journalist.
Going into politics next?

Still smarting from when you got 'headhunted' eh Sas?

[Dominic Connor]

While I applaud your efforts to lift the great unwashed ignorati out of their suffering and the resulting bloody nose you gave a couple of their oppressors who steal the bread from their grubby palms, I have a few qualms with your account:

1) You didn't mention what you replied when asked by the staff, "What's it got to do with you?" I personally relish such confrontational questions as it gives me a chance to retort, "You're not important enough to know".

2) Why did you reply that the elder gent was your friend, when it would have sufficed that he was a fellow human being whose basic rights were being infringed, and furthermore, as per the above, it was none of their business anyway?

3) Why would you assume that to quote the gentleman's legal rights loudly and repeatedly, so as to gain support from onlookers, quite a common tactic in many lower areas of life (like playgrounds and recruitment) would surprise us?

4) Why were you wearing a bomber jacket in the middle of a heatwave?

You have made me angry now.
Why didn't I think of your response in (1) ? but I promise to use it next time.

(2) As in my post, I am a recruiter, has any recruiter ever phoned you up for a role and not treated you like a long lost brother even though you've never met ?

(3) I was not attempting to suprise *you*, but not being able to bully the old gent certainly suprised the WH Smjith staff.

(4) When not on duty, I dress like a tramp and my face looks like one. This isn't on purpose I just have the style equivalent of dyslexia and since my son hit me in the face with a golf club, I have a tooth missing and a prominent facial scar. I hadn't shaved either, it wasn't a pretty sight.

[sasguru]

Weren't you boasting about being headhunted a while back? Doesn't sound so impressive now does it?

Still smarting from when you got 'headhunted' eh Sas?

Being a headhuntee is very different to being a headhunter.
Also very different to being rec conned.
But you'll never know.

[MyUserName]

So, to sum up...

Agent acts like a loudmouthed twat in public, until the manager gave in to get him out of the shop.

What on earth makes you think he was acting?

[DodgyAgent]

You have made me angry now.
Why didn't I think of your response in (1) ? but I promise to use it next time.

(2) As in my post, I am a recruiter, has any recruiter ever phoned you up for a role and not treated you like a long lost brother even though you've never met ?

(3) I was not attempting to suprise *you*, but not being able to bully the old gent certainly suprised the WH Smjith staff.

(4) When not on duty, I dress like a tramp and my face looks like one. This isn't on purpose I just have the style equivalent of dyslexia and since my son hit me in the face with a golf club, I have a tooth missing and a prominent facial scar. I hadn't shaved either, it wasn't a pretty sight.

If your children hate you it is a positive sign that you will go far. The next stage of course is to sell them to slavery.

[d000hg]

I think Sas is still smarting from the smooth-talking self-proclaimed headhunter who flattered his ego but then turned out to be a 21 year old trainee recruiter doing a keyword search.

[rd409]

I think Sas is still smarting from the smooth-talking self-proclaimed headhunter who flattered his ego but then turned out to be a 10 year old trying to read his Dad's papers from work titled "A dummy's guide to recruitment".

FTFY.