So you've pulled Nigella Lawson...

[Mich the Tester]

I think you miss the point here formant; if you're in love, you forgive, you are ashamed, you let things go, for you don't want the status quo to change; blaming the victim is about as bad as supporting the criminal act, in my opinion, for it's not a black and white issue.

Yep, been there, done that, happens to a lot of us and hopefully we learn from it and it only happens once.

[Old Greg]

I reserve my sympathies for those who can't protect themselves, not for those unwilling to do so.

Good idea. Otherwise you might run out of sympathies.

[formant]

I think you miss the point here formant; if you're in love, you forgive, you are ashamed, you let things go, for you don't want the status quo to change; blaming the victim is about as bad as supporting the criminal act, in my opinion, for it's not a black and white issue.

That flies a lot better in situations that aren't out in the open and all over the tabloids though. There is no keeping quiet about this, hoping that it'll go away and life will return to normal though.

I'm not blaming her for what happened to her, but I think she - being in the position she's in - is incredibly naive and reckless in not taking this to the police.

[Old Hack]

That flies a lot better in situations that aren't out in the open and all over the tabloids though. There is no keeping quiet about this, hoping that it'll go away and life will return to normal though.

I'm not blaming her for what happened to her, but I think she - being in the position she's in - is incredibly naive and reckless in not taking this to the police.

That's absolutely crazy talk formant; it's gone to the police, and he was cautioned. Perhaps not wanting the person you love to get a criminal conviction holds you back, perhaps the shame associated with it holds you back.

I think it's reckless to assume anything other than that she needs support, for her life is not where it should be. I find it odd you seem to be blaming her, in some fashion.

By the way, I too was a victim of domestic abuse. All of my friends used to laugh about it, as did I. I never once thought to report it.

[Mich the Tester]

That flies a lot better in situations that aren't out in the open and all over the tabloids though. There is no keeping quiet about this, hoping that it'll go away and life will return to normal though.

I'm not blaming her for what happened to her, but I think she - being in the position she's in - is incredibly naive and reckless in not taking this to the police.

I had a relationship with girl who hit me, scratched me and once jumped on my head when I was in bed. She was a ballet dancer, about 7 stone and knew that I would never hit a woman, never mind a woman less than half my weight, but she was bloody strong for her size and it hurt. She abused her position. The trouble with ballet dancers is that they might be small and thin but they are incredibly strong. I left after a little while. Have you any idea how much shame is involved in a 15 stone rugby player telling people you've got that black eye or that cut on your face from a tiny little ballet dancer? Or, for that matter, a healthy 53 year old woman telling people all about being beaten up by a 70 year old man?

You obviously have a cause; try showing a bit of understanding for the people your cause is supposed to be about.

[Zippy]

As Saatchi has accepted the caution, it's done.
But, the press are not going to leave him alone.(And, thanks to them, everyone else knows what an unpleasant little shit: Nigella's husband is too - a luxury most domestic violence victims don't have)
The police are aware of him.
His wife won't trust him (I hope she's considering becoming the ex-wife)
And as for any honours aspirations ...

I really hope she sticks her nose in the air and gets on with her life. She's done nothing to be ashamed of and shouldn't be judged.

[Mich the Tester]

As Saatchi has accepted the caution, it's done.
But, the press are not going to leave him alone.(And, thanks to them, everyone else knows what an unpleasant little tulip Nigella's husband is too - a luxury most domestic violence victims don't have)
The police are aware of him.
His wife won't trust him (I hope she's considering becoming the ex-wife)
And as for any honours aspirations ...

I really hope she sticks her nose in the air and gets on with her life. She's done nothing to be ashamed of and shouldn't be judged.

whs

[shaunbhoy]

She's done nothing to be ashamed of and shouldn't be judged.

WZS!!

[Old Hack]

She's done nothing to be ashamed of and shouldn't be judged.

100%

[Mich the Tester]

That flies a lot better in situations that aren't out in the open and all over the tabloids though. There is no keeping quiet about this, hoping that it'll go away and life will return to normal though.

I'm not blaming her for what happened to her, but I think she - being in the position she's in - is incredibly naive and reckless in not taking this to the police.

This reminds me of when Freddie Mercury died; there were people complaining that if he'd gone public on having AIDS much earlier he could have raised so much money for AIDS research or treatment. That sickened me; the man was dying of a horrific disease, wanted to live out his days in peace and you have all these types with a bee in their bonnet who think he should go and serve their cause. It's when I realised that a lot of people with a cause don't actually give a stuff about the cause or the victims, but more about self publicity and grabbing attention.