How about: "I've got some piano wire and I've reserved a lamppost. What are your neck measurements?"
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Tory MP Visiting ClientCo
Collapse
X
-
-
SimonMac: Can I make you a cup of tea, Sir?Originally posted by SimonMac View PostNo, not Mary Poppins, but the actual local MP is visiting ClientCo today, assuming I am not locked in a cupboard by HR to avoid embrassement can someone please help me frame the perfect question on their campaign against PSC's and those (include some at the BBC) who are entitled to use them?
Tory: Why yes that would be lovely
<SimonMac returns with cup of tea>
<Tory spits first mouthful out because it literally tastes of piss>Contracting: more of the money, less of the sh1tComment
-
This is how I envisage it.
Originally posted by SimonMac;Describe what northernladuk looks like.Originally posted by ToryMP;What...?Originally posted by SimonMac;[points gun directly in ToryMP's face] Say "what" again. Say "what" again. I dare you. I double-dare you, motherf**ker. Say "what" one more goddamn time.Originally posted by ToryMP;He-he's black.Originally posted by SimonMac;Go on.Originally posted by ToryMP;He's bald.Originally posted by SimonMac;Does he look like a bitch?Originally posted by ToryMP;What?Originally posted by SimonMac;[shoots ToryMP in the shoulder; ToryMP screams] DOES...HE...LOOK...LIKE...A BITCH?!Originally posted by ToryMP;[in pain] No!
NB I've not met northernladuk, I'm only assuming he's black and bald based on the nature of his posts.Originally posted by SimonMac;Then why'd you try to **** him like a bitch, Tory MP?Keeping calm. Keeping invoicing.Comment
-
How do you assume someone's black based on their posting? I never saw him postYo homie, you is not cut out for contracting innit?"Originally posted by MaryPoppinsI'd still not breastfeed a naziOriginally posted by vetranUrine is quite nourishingComment
-
Because NLUK is always talking about his bitches and his hoes. It's a natural assumption.Originally posted by d000hg View PostHow do you assume someone's black based on their posting? I never saw him postWhat happens in General, stays in General.You know what they say about assumptions!Comment
-
Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- National Minimum Wage increase: operational for most umbrella staff, but brace for impact Mar 19 09:13
- Contractors, Joint & Several Liability’s unintended consequences are already piling up Mar 18 07:29
- Contractors, did you know self-employed DBS Checks have changed, for the better? Mar 17 07:56
- Offshoring harms already fraught IT contractors. Here’s what ministers can do Mar 16 07:57
- Dividends in 2026/27: an expert’s explainer for contractors Mar 13 07:20
- Dividends in 2026/27: an expert’s explainer for contractors Mar 13 07:04
- Contracting Awards 2026 opens for entries — with new AI category Mar 12 07:26
- Contracting Awards 2026 opens for entries — with new AI category Mar 12 07:26
- Contractors, beware these four traps in the UK’s Statutory Residence Test Mar 11 08:18
- Contractors, beware these four traps in the UK’s Statutory Residence Test Mar 11 00:23

Comment