Life is good when you dont have any kids

[Halo Jones]

So yes, life is good when you don't have kids, but life is great when you do.

For you I am glad it is so, but that is not true for everyone

Why do parents assume that I am missing out as I don’t have kids?

[BrilloPad]

Spare a thought for those who have "teenage" kids or autistic kids.

I have twins aged 10 - the boy is still a pleasure but my daughter is a huge pain.

My autistic son who is 5 wants nothing to do with me or his mother. We are just there to cook, clean etcetc. Any attempt to interact results in him pushing us away. On the plus side he is very happy. And we get to the front of the queues at theme parks. But I would rather have a child I can interact with.

If I had my life again I doubt I would have had kids. In fact given the choice I would have been born gay. Alas I cannot be without a woman's company or body.

[BrilloPad]

Why do parents assume that I am missing out as I don’t have kids?

Because no-one wants you to be happy! Why should you have all the fun?

[sasguru]

For you I am glad it is so, but that is not true for everyone

Why do parents assume that I am missing out as I don’t have kids?

It's one of those things you don't know you've missed out on till you have it.
So it's a pointless argument.
Non-parents will never know what they have missed out on - and its not the sort of thing you can imagine, the feelings both positive and ocassionally negative are too intense.

[doomage]

For you I am glad it is so, but that is not true for everyone

Why do parents assume that I am missing out as I don’t have kids?

It's only because they have a perspective which you don't. We all remember our time without kids (and, honestly, miss large parts of it), and can compare it to our time with kids. But if you don't have kids it is safe to assume you don't have this perspective. It's one thing to imagine having kids, another thing entirely to have them. And it's all or nothing, you can't just try kids out like a new TV series or restaurant.

Also there isn't always the intent to be judgemental here (unlike the OP...); in many cases children bring such joy that you want everybody to share in it. Terrible, I know. Live & let live etc.

If I was to be judgemental, I'd say one of the main reasons that people with kids are unhappy is not the kids, it's the money. Particularly the cost of housing / accommodation compared to income. And a large part of the problem here is childless professional couples pushing up house prices.

[doomage]

Spare a thought for those who have "teenage" kids or autistic kids.

I have twins aged 10 - the boy is still a pleasure but my daughter is a huge pain.

My autistic son who is 5 wants nothing to do with me or his mother. We are just there to cook, clean etcetc. Any attempt to interact results in him pushing us away. On the plus side he is very happy. And we get to the front of the queues at theme parks. But I would rather have a child I can interact with.

If I had my life again I doubt I would have had kids. In fact given the choice I would have been born gay. Alas I cannot be without a woman's company or body.

Lesbianism for you then.

[SueEllen]

If I had my life again I doubt I would have had kids. In fact given the choice I would have been born gay.

Bad news being gay doesn't mean not having kids as some gay men adopt or use a surrogate mother.

[mudskipper]

Beat me to it. Was just going to say exactly the same thing. A great night out doesn't compare (for me) to getting home and having one of them run up shouting "Daddy!" and giving me a big hug

Then they turn into teenagers...

[Bunk]

Beat me to it. Was just going to say exactly the same thing. A great night out doesn't compare (for me) to getting home and having one of them run up shouting "Daddy!" and giving me a big hug

Maybe you just haven't had any really great nights out.

[IR35FanClub]

I think the moeny argument is flawed. The classic example... instad of having kids you could have a ferrari. Which is true. But the ferrari will have just a high running costs, youll be constantly worry about someone damaging or stealing it, and the truth it, youll only be entertained by it an hour or two a day.

Is that much different to having kids?

The difference with kids is they give you feedback, they improve over time, they look after themselves, and after 20 years will have much more value than a 20 year old ferrari, both economically and sentimentally.


Im with other people on the drinking, Id say most of us are addicts without realising it. Thankfully my latest girlfriend doesnt drink and has discouraged me from drinking, and now ive broken the habit am glad of it. Ive noticed most of all, my monhtly spend has dropped by about £500! I still have a pint down the pub, and the odd bottle of cider, but am off the 1/2-1 bittle of wine two or three nights a week, and about 10 other pints spread over the week.

I really dont think having kids is that difficult, but then thats maybe becuase Im just a big kid myself. One of my life goals is to start an orphanage once im financially secure. The thought of being a clown all day long even if it is tiring, might actually keep me alive much longer than sitting in an office starting at a screen full of code all day.