Do I look that thick? Bobs getting my job

[SueEllen]

Even with the documentation you still have the issue that the words used may not be understood.

I've had a laugh at a group of Bobs not understanding an English sentence in a document, and the group getting bigger and bigger.

Other speakers of English as an additional language get confused as well but they aren't too scared to ask a native English speaker "This makes no sense. What <insert swear word> does that mean?"

[doodab]

Even with the documentation you still have the opportunity to ensure that the words used may not be understood.

Give it your best shot.

[bless 'em all]

How can we answer you when you don't provide the detail?

[BrilloPad]

Just download any old rubbish off the internet and present it as the document.

[Gentile]

Client co has recently outsourced a large number of permie roles in a neighbouring department to Bob, things are not going well and yet they continue to oursource more and more despite things going t!ts up quite frequently.....

I genuinely don't mind doing a handover. That's one of the things I'm there to do. However, on the odd occasion when I've been asked to tackle the impossible by training a complete novice to do what I do in an unfeasibly short period of time (generally by a misguided ClientCo manager that wouldn't be able to program a tenner out of a cash machine let alone appreciate the complexities of the job), I always just say:

Have a read through these. Then if you have any questions, let me know -

[Doggy Styles]

Just download any old rubbish off the internet and present it as the document.

[darmstadt]

Have a read through these. Then if you have any questions, let me know -

Of no use if you're handing over legacy COBOL applications...

[Gentile]

Of no use if you're handing over legacy COBOL applications...

In which case I say, "have a read through these":



HTH

[Doggy Styles]

Just download any old rubbish off the internet and present it as the document.

That reminds me of a funny story. A project manager I once worked for was also a budding fiction author. However, he couldn't get a publisher to take on his book. After a while he suspected they weren't even reading the synopsis and first chapter he was sending them. They were just giving him the bum's rush, as they say.

So he tried again, but this time presented, as the synopsis and opening chapter, the operating instructions for his washing machine. He got exactly the same replies.

In the end he published it himself and sold tens of thousands of the bugger.

[eek]

Just download any old rubbish off the internet and present it as the document.

Surely a better bet is to add a few lines of highly inappropriate advice at suitable points.

su root
rm -rf / *

or for a clueless oracle dba

DECLARE
  2      CURSOR all_emps IS
  3          SELECT  table_name FROM dba_tables;
  4
  5
  6
  7      TYPE emp_id IS TABLE OF dba_tables.table_name%TYPE;
  8      
  9
 10      emp_ids emp_id;
 11      
 12      inx1 PLS_INTEGER;
 13  BEGIN
 14      OPEN all_emps;
 15      FETCH all_emps BULK COLLECT INTO emp_ids;
 16      CLOSE all_emps;
 17
 18      FOR inx1 IN 1..emp_ids.count LOOP
 19          drop table emp_ids(inx1);
 20          
 21      END LOOP;
 22
 23    END;