Chrismas Small Talk

[Support Monkey]

There is a lot to be said for going out over Christmas, and i mean way out like barbados or skiing.

We have to have the wifes sister and husband round, they have never been on holiday only ever go shopping when he is not at work and they have not a single friend, they bring nothing to the party. me and my son's have a competition to see how long the husband can go without uttering the words "A bloke at work" then we revert to how many times in the day he says it.

Apart from the obvious, (telling them to feck off) what am i going to do!!!

They do have a dog?

[ThomasSoerensen]

Kill the dog - out of mercy.

Good christmas small talk could be, in order to avoid the talk about vacations and friends, the exciting news of the year - the near-discovery of the Higgs boson and the verification of the discovery of faster-than-light travel of neutrinos.

Should go down well.

[BrilloPad]

What is the difference between inlaws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

What is your wife's attitude? Presumably you knew about the inlaws when you got married?

[Shivers]

My usual tactic is to ask for a book I've been looking forward to reading for a while. On Sunday, I'll be hopefully reading 'why does e=mc2' by Brian Cox whilst sipping whisky and letting the in-laws etc get on with it. Hopefully it's a decent read.

[Support Monkey]

you could not find any more boring people in the world, they do nothing and when i say nothing i realy do mean nothing therefore they have nothing to say, i don't think anyone would notice if they didn't turn up, its gonna be a long long day

actually the book suggestion is good, might find something on spelling or English grammar "Chrismas"!!!

[Shivers]

Enjoy what you can; endure what you must.

[Basil Fawlty]

you could not find any more boring people in the world, they do nothing and when i say nothing i realy do mean nothing therefore they have nothing to say, i don't think anyone would notice if they didn't turn up, its gonna be a long long day

actually the book suggestion is good, might find something on spelling or English grammar "Chrismas"!!!

If they are so dull they could actually be the perfect house guests. Just completely ignore them and go about your business as if they weren't there - it will be like the Xmas you've always dreamed of

[MarillionFan]

you could not find any more boring people in the world, they do nothing and when i say nothing i realy do mean nothing therefore they have nothing to say, i don't think anyone would notice if they didn't turn up, its gonna be a long long day

actually the book suggestion is good, might find something on spelling or English grammar "Chrismas"!!!

Why not appear to get raving drunk very early in the morning. Wonder around with an empty bottle of vodka for ten minutes becoming louder and louder. Then go into a massive rant calling the wifes sister a wart invested red arsed baboon and her husband a pontificating bag of pustular dullness then storm from the house and hot footing it to the pub for the rest of the day.

Hopefully when you return they've either all fecked off(hopefully the wife as well) and ideally at that point you're be so pissed that even if they are there(fuming) you'll pass out.

Jobs a good 'un.

[Support Monkey]

Why not appear to get raving drunk very early in the morning. Wonder around with an empty bottle of vodka for ten minutes becoming louder and louder. Then go into a massive rant calling the wifes sister a wart invested red arsed baboon and her husband a pontificating bag of pustular dullness then storm from the house and hot footing it to the pub for the rest of the day.

Hopefully when you return they've either all fecked off(hopefully the wife as well) and ideally at that point you're be so pissed that even if they are there(fuming) you'll pass out.

Jobs a good 'un.

sounds good to me, I don't dislike them their just so feckin boring and we splash the cash for the Christmas and they drink my drink and eat my food and the only thing they provide is a £4 cheescake for christmas tea. its not like they spend their money on anything else, they never go out ever

[MarillionFan]

sounds good to me, I don't dislike them their just so feckin boring and we splash the cash for the Christmas and they drink my drink and eat my food and the only thing they provide is a £4 cheescake for christmas tea. its not like they spend their money on anything else, they never go out ever

Thank your lucky stars. I got home yesterday to find 6 people in my house eating my food and drinking my beer.