Requirements management

[suityou01]

How about the requirement of getting paid....or are you still sucking up the agency BS?

No, my threat of a flounce did the trick.

[Zippy]

Kerching, kerching, kerching.

I'm obliged to agree with m'learned adversary.
Much slowness, much kerching.

[suityou01]

I'm obliged to agree with m'learned adversary.
Much slowness, much kerching.

Please provide responses to the following PM cliches :

1) Suity, I know what you're saying, but this is a fixed price project.
2) Suity, I know what you're saying, but there's only a day in the plan for this.
3) Suity, I know what you're saying, but we're working to strict deadlines here.

Until now I've been using "I can hit your deadlines, but the quality will suffer".
Or if before coffee, "Seeing as my requests for an extension have been ignored for this deliverable you'll get what you're given and be happy with it".

I'm sure there's others.

[MarillionFan]

Please provide responses to the following PM cliches :

1) Suity, I know what you're saying, but this is a fixed price project.
2) Suity, I know what you're saying, but there's only a day in the plan for this.
3) Suity, I know what you're saying, but we're working to strict deadlines here.

Until now I've been using "I can hit your deadlines, but the quality will suffer".
Or if before coffee, "Seeing as my requests for an extension have been ignored for this deliverable you'll get what you're given and be happy with it".

I'm sure there's others.

4) Suity, so what you're saying is there isn't enough time or money to complete all of the work to meet the deadline, you don't want to cram it all in because the quality will suffer, so you're going to have to descope the deliverables into a second phase.

[suityou01]

4) Suity, so what you're saying is there isn't enough time or money to complete all of the work to meet the deadline, you don't want to cram it all in because the quality will suffer, so you're going to have to descope the deliverables into a second phase.

Fixed price projects don't have second phases unfortunately.

[Zippy]

Please provide responses to the following PM cliches :

1) Suity, I know what you're saying, but this is a fixed price project.

Oh dear <snigger> *cough* change requests

2) Suity, I know what you're saying, but there's only a day in the plan for this.

Oh dear <snigger> *cough* change requests

3) Suity, I know what you're saying, but we're working to strict deadlines here.

Oh dear ... etc etc

[MarillionFan]

Fixed price projects don't have second phases unfortunately.

You didn't did you????

You're not on a fixed price?

[suityou01]

You didn't did you????

You're not on a fixed price?

No I'm on a day rate. The consultancy is on a fixed price.

@Zippy : I tried to push through change requests but they are being branded "requirements gaps". Six weeks into the project and still no development environment (now approaching a month late), yet the final deliverable date has not / will not / cannot move to the right. Breathtaking bulltulip being spouted at the moment.

[EternalOptimist]

tell them this


They can have it fast and cheap, but it aint going to be any good
They can have it fast and good, but it aint going to be cheap
They can have it cheap and good, but it aint going to be fast


then twat them in the face with your bike helmet

[suityou01]

tell them this


They can have it fast and cheap, but it aint going to be any good
They can have it fast and good, but it aint going to be cheap
They can have it cheap and good, but it aint going to be fast


then twat them in the face with your bike helmet