Which part of the UK has the best women?

[Old Greg]

<Waits for SA to log on>

Don't hold your breath - she's busy robbing some poor sap's hotel room.

[Gibbon]

One of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed:

On Squadron X, a new intake of fresh-faced mechanics arrived and immediately started to behave in that cocksure manner that young macho boys do. One in particular was loud and abrasive and let it be known he was a ladies man. He was after a girl that with a group of others, were bussed in from the locality for the Wednesday night disco. For a few weeks he tried and tried to no avail and started getting some flack for being a bit useless in the stud department.

However, one glorious Thursday morning as we were having a cuppa in the crew room he came waltzing in with a huge smile on his face and declared that he’d cracked it. He then went on in squirming detail about what he actually got up to with her and how wet she had got. “What time did all this take place” asked a quieter and more civilised member of this young crew. “After the disco had finished back in my room” he replied beaming. “Oh dear !” came the concerned reply “ I think you’ve being licking my spunk!”

And so ‘spunk licker’ got his nickname.

[doodab]

One of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed:

On Squadron X, a new intake of fresh-faced mechanics arrived and immediately started to behave in that cocksure manner that young macho boys do. One in particular was loud and abrasive and let it be known he was a ladies man. He was after a girl that with a group of others, were bussed in from the locality for the Wednesday night disco. For a few weeks he tried and tried to no avail and started getting some flack for being a bit useless in the stud department.

However, one glorious Thursday morning as we were having a cuppa in the crew room he came waltzing in with a huge smile on his face and declared that he’d cracked it. He then went on in squirming detail about what he actually got up to with her and how wet she had got. “What time did all this take place” asked a quieter and more civilised member of this young crew. “After the disco had finished back in my room” he replied beaming. “Oh dear !” came the concerned reply “ I think you’ve being licking my spunk!”

And so ‘spunk licker’ got his nickname.

That's lovely but where was she from?

[d000hg]

I would say North East girls from experience

Essex-girl wannabes with the fake tan and crazy outfits, but also an extra 4 stone. Ugh.

[RichardCranium]

By best I probably mean filthiest.

I first thought you wrote "fittest" and was going to respond "Leeds". Having worked all over the UK I am confident Leeds birds try hardest.

As for filthiest:
a) I wish I any experience to pass on, let alone conducted a survey!
b) feeling a bit middle-aged, are we?

I - inadvertently, I swear - stumbled across a dogging web site that not only had a forum, but also had an online map and reviews of sites. That website was an education in itself. (Having stumbled, I had trouble getting up and leaving.) One review was about a car park next to a popular canal mooring spot and the doggers were moaning about the boaters wanting to stay in their boats and not join in and how the boats shouldn't be allowed to stop there if they only intend to stay on board.

It seems to me that morals have changed this past decade or so.

On a vaguely related theme, I received a spam email this morning from "Letviana" or some such who was "25, slimb, fit" etc and offered: "kiss leasing" as a service.

"Kiss leasing". How sweet is that? Bless.

[original PM]

current experiences tell me if they are in Glasgow around the Argyle street area they need paying

[MarillionFan]

The dirtiest, funniest, most forward girls I've known have been from 'Up North', whereas I've never managed to crack any Irish birds to date.

Belts though. That's a different question.

[ChrisPackit]

I have just come back from a stag do in Bristol and can confirm, due to the lack of me pulling, that all birds from Bristol must therefore be lesbians

[d000hg]

I first thought you wrote "fittest" and was going to respond "Leeds". Having worked all over the UK I am confident Leeds birds try hardest.

As for filthiest:
a) I wish I any experience to pass on, let alone conducted a survey!
b) feeling a bit middle-aged, are we?

I - inadvertently, I swear - stumbled across a dogging web site that not only had a forum, but also had an online map and reviews of sites. That website was an education in itself. (Having stumbled, I had trouble getting up and leaving.) One review was about a car park next to a popular canal mooring spot and the doggers were moaning about the boaters wanting to stay in their boats and not join in and how the boats shouldn't be allowed to stop there if they only intend to stay on board..

That's a very promising post but you missed the URL.