Things to do on the last day of a gig...

[gingerjedi]

Bring in a load of expensive cakes and confectionary. A dozen bottles of champers. Place a Ferrari brochure on the table, a picture of an expensive villa in the South of France and a picture of your bosses wife/daughter as applicable and then boast about how you plan to drive your new car to your villa and bang your new bit
on the side (flash picture) for the next fortnight when they're stuck in the office, sweating
and eating cakes like the fat lazy permies they are, then swig a bottle of bubbly, tell them to feck themselves and take the rest of the booze before giving them the middle finger, then grabbing your crotch and leaving.

Hth

Oh make sure you get your timesheet signed though first.

No punching?? You've gone soft.

[amcdonald]

You can have fun when you retire.

HTH

That's permie talk, are you a permie and a sockie ?

[russell]

That's permie talk, are you a permie and a sockie ?

Nope running a successful contracting business is no joke, when I retire at 40 then I can play.

[amcdonald]

Nope running a successful contracting business is no joke, when I retire at 40 then I can play.

This time next year rodders...

[MarillionFan]

Nope running a successful contracting business is no joke, when I retire at 40 then I can play.

Excellent. 30 more years to go then fella. Oh and BTW
make sure your mummy knows when you're using the Internet so she can keep you safe from adult
sites and possible online grooming. Well done.

I have a puppy. Would you like to stroke it?

[ChrisPackit]

Excellent. 30 more years to go then fella. Oh and BTW
make sure your mummy knows when you're using the Internet so she can keep you safe from adult
sites and possible online grooming. Well done.

I have a puppy. Would you like to stroke it?

Do you want to sit in my car and I'll give you a sweetie?

[russell]

Excellent. 30 more years to go then fella. Oh and BTW
make sure your mummy knows when you're using the Internet so she can keep you safe from adult
sites and possible online grooming. Well done.

I have a puppy. Would you like to stroke it?

At last we got him lads, start the raid, he sounds violent so use extreme force. Make sure he doesn't erase his hard drive.

[pmeswani]

Today is indeed the last day of an 18 month stint at ClientCo. I'm obviously going to toss it off all day whilst still retaining my professional image (til I get the timesheet signed)

We've got an office end of year party tonight as well so I was thinking:

a) Tell all the people which I didn't get on with they they are a bunch of twats...
b) Try and hit it off with the bird in HR, and slap her on the ass a bit and laugh it off like Sid James...
c) Rub it in how much money they've paid me over the 18 month stint and how little work I've done for it...
d) Smoke a fat cigar lit naturally by a £50 note...


Any more suggestions that I could do to keep me entertained today and tonight...

Just play Dambusters loudly on your PC, and send a email viral of someone you hate to the whole company and several people on the internet. Also, attach a picture of Pammy Anderson with the email with some wild allegations. That normally gets peoples backs up.

[EternalOptimist]

Get over to bird in HR, put you hand on her shoulder and whisper in her ear.
'tickle your @rse with a feather ?'

if she giggles and wriggles, take her to the bogs and slip her a crippler

if she freaks, and says 'whhat', look out of the window and say
'it's particularly narsty weather'

[Halo Jones]

Get over to bird in HR, put you hand on her shoulder and whisper in her ear.
'tickle your @rse with a feather ?'

if she giggles and wriggles, take her to the bogs and slip her a crippler

if she freaks, and says 'whhat', look out of the window and say
'it's particularly narsty weather'