Bankruptcy

[d000hg]

Forcing your partner to move country seems a bit hard to justify her as the unreasonable one. You might be right but I doubt it's as clear-cut as you make out.

[Churchill]

Yeah, they normally come over for a longer though cos my boy isn't in proper school yet.

Lay it on the line.

She may just wake up.

[doodab]

Do you really think that is enough?

Do you need to run two houses, can you not do the weekly commute thing? And rent a room or something over there? I dunno if thats possible.

I rent a cheap flat and fly back once a month. It's about the cheapest option as flights are £150-200 a pop.

However, you need to show her the figures, sit her down and show that things just don't add up and that ye need to do whats best for you as a family.

You said earlier you like your son. Do you like her though? If not, you are flogging a dead horse and need to get your tulip together. If you do love her & want it to work, be honest and explain everything to her. You might be suprised at how she reacts.

This is the problem, if I try and engage her in meaningful discussion she just doesn't get it or goes off at a tangent. One time I was explaining something and she just come out with some crap about some rugby player being gay. I mean WTF? She doesn't even watch rugby FFS.

[cailin maith]

This is the problem, if I try and engage her in meaningful discussion she just doesn't get it or goes off at a tangent. One time I was explaining something and she just come out with some crap about some rugby player being gay. I mean WTF? She doesn't even watch rugby FFS.

Hmmmnnn sounds like she just isn't interested

[SueEllen]

Forcing your partner to move country seems a bit hard to justify her as the unreasonable one. You might be right but I doubt it's as clear-cut as you make out.

WHS

A mate of mine did that to his wife twice.

He decided to move after casually mentioning it to her both times. The first time wasn't soo bad as it was a move to another UK country and she eventually got a better job and childcare, but the second time she refused to move for over a year. All countries involved where English speaking and this woman works.

Moving countries for a woman who doesn't work is hard particularly with a pre-school child. She will have no support network and it will be hard for her to make friends if she doesn't speak conversational German.

You really need to sit down and listen to her fears of moving country. Even though she livesin a nice part of London she may actually be happier living in Slough and Swindon (there are fast trains to London) then living in Germany.

Also in regards to childcare - 2 of my sister-in-laws spent most of their wages on childcare while their children where pre-school age. Now one is very high up in the NHS and the other earns more due to working those extra years instead of staying at home. So doodab your wife could be better of working (even part-time) as it may help in the long run and also change her attitude to spending money.

[doodab]

Forcing your partner to move country seems a bit hard to justify her as the unreasonable one. You might be right but I doubt it's as clear-cut as you make out.

I'm not forcing her to do anything, but she has to realise what her options actually are.

At the moment she thinks we can just move out of our little flat to a nice family house with a garden in the area we are in now, and the truth is that we can't even afford the crappy little flat we are in on the sort of rates I am likely to get at the moment, never mind what happens if I come back and spend a couple of months on the bench before something turns up.

[DimPrawn]

Swindon is very cheap to buy and to rent, fast train to Paddington is direct and takes under 1 hr.

[MarillionFan]

I'm not forcing her to do anything, but she has to realise what her options actually are.

At the moment she thinks we can just move out of our little flat to a nice family house with a garden in the area we are in now, and the truth is that we can't even afford the crappy little flat we are in on the sort of rates I am likely to get at the moment, never mind what happens if I come back and spend a couple of months on the bench before something turns up.

Well what rates would you expect to get in the UK then?

[MarillionFan]

Swindon is very cheap to buy and to rent, fast train to Paddington is direct and takes under 1 hr.

Same as Basingstoke. I'll rent you a place if you like.

[DimPrawn]

Same as Basingstoke. I'll rent you a place if you like.

Thanks for the offer, but I'm going back to my old place.

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