Following our recent appearance at the the Burton Bradstock Gay Fun Run
(details of which I am unfortunately going to have to withhold owing to
pending legal action) I've been out and about trying to drum up some
appearances for Slow and Dirty featuring Ivor Hardacre.
Having performed for a number of Scout and Guide jamborees I thought a logical
progression would be to pay a visit to the Sandy Balls Woodcraft Folk. I personally know very little of this organisation so, on a lovely spring morning, we found ourselves
bowling down the A36 en route for the New Forest.
Expecting a scout hut or a church hall to be their HQ, it took us some
time to find the Woodcraft Folk as it turned out all their business is
conducted from a large dome shaped organic looking structure or "bender"
as the rather humourless individual who came to greet us corrected me.
I introduced myself and enquired as to whether she was in charge. "We
are an egalitarian organisation, no one is in charge" she snorted,
prompting me to explain that I thought her khaki coloured apparel
denoted some kind of authority. "It's not a uniform", she snapped, "
it's made from organically grown hemp by the Andean wimmins collective
and I'm wearing it as a mark of solidarity."
On entering the premises I was surprised that no portrait of the Queen
was apparent anywhere, though I did see a picture of Nelson Mandela
along with a lot of slogans talking about empowerment and such like.
She told me that she was going to put our appearance to a vote and I was
ushered into the area where the children were congregated & what an
unruly bunch of spoilt, precocious, little brats they were too.
I explained our act and said that we were going do a few rounds in which
everyone would come in on the chorus at a different times and we would
(as ever) culminate in a rendition of Riding Along on the Crest of a
Wave to which I received howls of derision and insults such as "don't
patronise us you f*****g fascist ". *Shocked by this verbal barrage and
the lack of deference for their elders, I steadied myself by thinking of
a Class 37 thrashing up Lickey Bank.
Then came the vote:
Benjamin Zephaniah 28
Slow and Dirty 0
Feeling utterly humiliated, I couldn't wait to get out and my farewell
to was scarcely audible.
I was later cheered by learning that they were all paricipating in a
BBC's Childrens' Question Time "racism special" the weekend we were
going to play so it was all academic anyhow and Ivor soon had our
peckers up with a hilarious tale invoving Sue Pollard, 2 bender brunches
and a knickerbocker glory.
(details of which I am unfortunately going to have to withhold owing to
pending legal action) I've been out and about trying to drum up some
appearances for Slow and Dirty featuring Ivor Hardacre.
Having performed for a number of Scout and Guide jamborees I thought a logical
progression would be to pay a visit to the Sandy Balls Woodcraft Folk. I personally know very little of this organisation so, on a lovely spring morning, we found ourselves
bowling down the A36 en route for the New Forest.
Expecting a scout hut or a church hall to be their HQ, it took us some
time to find the Woodcraft Folk as it turned out all their business is
conducted from a large dome shaped organic looking structure or "bender"
as the rather humourless individual who came to greet us corrected me.
I introduced myself and enquired as to whether she was in charge. "We
are an egalitarian organisation, no one is in charge" she snorted,
prompting me to explain that I thought her khaki coloured apparel
denoted some kind of authority. "It's not a uniform", she snapped, "
it's made from organically grown hemp by the Andean wimmins collective
and I'm wearing it as a mark of solidarity."
On entering the premises I was surprised that no portrait of the Queen
was apparent anywhere, though I did see a picture of Nelson Mandela
along with a lot of slogans talking about empowerment and such like.
She told me that she was going to put our appearance to a vote and I was
ushered into the area where the children were congregated & what an
unruly bunch of spoilt, precocious, little brats they were too.
I explained our act and said that we were going do a few rounds in which
everyone would come in on the chorus at a different times and we would
(as ever) culminate in a rendition of Riding Along on the Crest of a
Wave to which I received howls of derision and insults such as "don't
patronise us you f*****g fascist ". *Shocked by this verbal barrage and
the lack of deference for their elders, I steadied myself by thinking of
a Class 37 thrashing up Lickey Bank.
Then came the vote:
Benjamin Zephaniah 28
Slow and Dirty 0
Feeling utterly humiliated, I couldn't wait to get out and my farewell
to was scarcely audible.
I was later cheered by learning that they were all paricipating in a
BBC's Childrens' Question Time "racism special" the weekend we were
going to play so it was all academic anyhow and Ivor soon had our
peckers up with a hilarious tale invoving Sue Pollard, 2 bender brunches
and a knickerbocker glory.
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