Dead people

[Mich the Tester]

Item on the SE news recently about dead people, there's a big shortage of cemetary space in London.

Clearly dead people are almost as much of a nuisance as old people. Any suggestions what we should do with them?

In Lagos some years ago they built a meat processing plant next to the morgue. Harmless maybe, but it raised a few eyebrows in a city there had just been a scandal about the morgue selling used blocks of ice to hotels and restaurants. Draw your own conclusions.

[Mich the Tester]

Prior to that, graves were being dug through semidecayed bodies.

Shades of "Alas poor Yorick".

But with bits of flesh remaining.

Must have been a smelly job.

[ThomasSoerensen]

I see a Plan B here.

What can you do with dead people?

Lampshades
Ashtrays
Human Hair pillows
Candles?

Oh the list must be endless. I wonder if anyone has thought of this before?

Chili con carne?

[TimberWolf]

In Lagos some years ago they built a meat processing plant next to the morgue. Harmless maybe, but it raised a few eyebrows in a city there had just been a scandal about the morgue selling used blocks of ice to hotels and restaurants. Draw your own conclusions.

Send Brian Hanrahan in to investigate. "I counted them all in, but counted none come out".

[OwlHoot]

On a surreal note they were explaining how even coffins over a hundred years old still contained ichor that had to be carefully handled. So they opened a coffin and found a perfectly preserved body of a young woman dead for about 150 years, looked like she was sleeping

Did she crumble to dust as soon as they opened the lid, like one of those Hammer House of Horror films?

I read of something similar happening in Leeds, and they found a load of scratch marks on the inside of the coffin lid.

(Could be an urban legend though - One hopes so)

Seriously, if it wasn't for all the noxious chemicals they pump into corpses, I'd plough the whole lot up and use them for fertilizer. It's monstrously selfish to be taking up acres of room for decades, when you could be cremated and sprinkled on a flower bed or in the sea or whatever. At the very least there should be a ruinous burial tax, say £50K, for the privilege.

[Mich the Tester]

Did she crumble to dust as soon as they opened the lid, like one of those Hammer House of Horror films?

I read of something similar happening in Leeds, and they found a load of scratch marks on the inside of the coffin lid.

(Could be an urban legend though - One hopes so)

Seriously, if it wasn't for all the noxious chemicals they pump into corpses, I'd plough the whole lot up and use them for fertilizer. It's monstrously selfish to be taking up acres of room for decades, when you could be cremated and sprinkled on a flower bed or in the sea or whatever. At the very least there should be a ruinous burial tax, say £50K, for the privilege.

Yep; I've always said cremate me and otherwise push my remains through the garden shredder and dump me in the compost heap.

[FiveTimes]

Maybe instead of lying them horizontally they should put them in feet first vertically.

Granted you need to dig a lot deeper but you should be able to get more coffins in.

Or

chop the bodies in half and have deeper coffins, reduce the length of them thus take up less space.

[Mich the Tester]

Maybe instead of lying them horizontally they should put them in feet first vertically.

Granted you need to dig a lot deeper but you should be able to get more coffins in.

Or

chop the bodies in half and have deeper coffins, reduce the length of them thus take up less space.

Why not dry the bodies and then push them through one of these;

[xoggoth]

Maybe instead of lying them horizontally they should put them in feet first vertically

That takes me back to childhood days. Near a footpath at the top of Boxhill in Surrey there's the grave of an eccentric who insisted on being buried vertcially. Upside down I think.

Oh yes here he is.

Box Hill, Surrey | Flickr - Photo Sharing!