Get rich quick schemes

[scooterscot]

I don't think the bottled water business is as simple as using plain tap water, because in its raw state tap water is too pure and sterile for a successful bottled water business. Plastic water buyers need something to chew on. At minimum it would need to be laced with small amounts of heavy metals and biological toxins, and don't forget the plasticy aftertaste (a schoolboy error).

Remember the Pepsi scandal?

[Pondlife]

I have a plan for making approx a couple of million over the weekend.

Basically me and a couple of mates will travel to Turin by car and knock over a Gold bullion truck.

I understand that fuel is expensive so we'll most likely use small cars like minis or similar.

I have a mate who's got a bit of a penchant for ladies with big bottoms but he's a technical wizzkid. He's going to sort out the traffic issues.

I also have a mate who works for Daves Coaches. He's going to nick one of the buses for the weekend on the pretence of taking a Saga trip to see the Alps.

I know this girl in my local who's a dab hand with explosives. Rumour is she'll blow anything, which is nice.

Wish me luck.

[RichardCranium]

Am charging a tenner for anyone who want to punch MF in the face.

My bank accounts details are in the Private Message I just sent. Keep the remaining change.

[Mich the Tester]

Coke produced dasani. Major supplier thames water. Didn't work for them.

They sell a lot of that in the turd world where tap water’s unreliable and unsafe. Saw loads of Dasani salesmen on the streets in Tanzania recently.

[RichardCranium]

Remember the Pepsi scandal?

Or the 'benzine in Perrier' scandal?

Or the 'xylene & napthaline in Volvic' scandal?

I think it is Aquafina that is the safe one. It is bottled tap water.

[Churchill]

I have a plan for making approx a couple of million over the weekend.

Basically me and a couple of mates will travel to Turin by car and knock over a Gold bullion truck.

I understand that fuel is expensive so we'll most likely use small cars like minis or similar.

I have a mate who's got a bit of a penchant for ladies with big bottoms but he's a technical wizzkid. He's going to sort out the traffic issues.

I also have a mate who works for Daves Coaches. He's going to nick one of the buses for the weekend on the pretence of taking a Saga trip to see the Alps.

I know this girl in my local who's a dab hand with explosives. Rumour is she'll blow anything, which is nice.

Wish me luck.

Oi mate!

Remember, you're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

[Old Greg]

My bank accounts details are in the Private Message I just sent. Keep the remaining change.

Wow! For that much I'll check you're not on the contractor blacklist or greylist as well. I'm already doing well with this latest scheme.

[amcdonald]

I have hit on this brilliant idea for making a mint quickly.

Anyone else have any sure plan ideas?

Get David Jason to endorse it for ultimate irony

[Old Greg]

Get David Jason to endorse it for ultimate irony

Serve it a 0 degrees and call it 'Touch of Frost'.

[Alf W]

The wife was watching one of those Secret Millionaire programmes and something caught my eye as a potential money spinner.

This group in Bristol had been set up to provide advice and support to 'workers in the sex trade'. It made the point that some of these ladies are at risk because they wander around with large amounts of cash on their person and they are often off it on smack anyway.

So, there's your answer. Mugging prostitutes. Easy cash. They're unlikely to go to the police either.