Weak landlord

[MaryPoppins]

aye. spot on.

jeez the thought of 'offering them out' makes the hairs on the back of me neck stand on end. Do you have no dirty tricks, weaps , element of suprise training at all?
if you do insist on going down this route, try smiling, edge closer, say 'I'm going now, me nan is in hospital, me dogs died and my sister has leukemia', then NUT. stick the ead on the bridge of his nose
make sure you wear clean undies before you go out though. My nan always used to say, wear clean undies in case you get run over and end up in intensive care

That's definitely my favoured approach. I wasn't sure what the term 'offered them out' meant.

[EternalOptimist]

That's definitely my favoured approach. I wasn't sure what the term 'offered them out' meant.

To offer someone out, is to invite them to meet you in the carpark or the street, in order to settle your differences with fisticuffs.
It's a civilised way to behave, and often results in a half @rsed shoving contest and both parties can withdraw with honour satisfied. Unfortunately, being civilised only works if you are dealing with like minded people, and where your life is at stake, you cant take that chance. so dont.

If you do drop someone, and their mates dont intervene, and you realise that you have transgressed the unwritten law, you can always recover your street cred by getting a damp cloth from behind the bar, and mop the blood till they come round. When people realise that you have tended him rather than booting or robbing him, you will be elevated to the exalted position of local hard case.
Take their trainees off while they are unconcious though. A guy cant scrap without any boots on.

[MarillionFan]

Frankly, the notion of 'asking someone outside for a fight' is ridiculous in the extreme. It offers lots of posturing & huffing & puffing.

If you serious about getting in a punch up ,frankly I would go for the blitzkrieg approach of lamping your opponent in a number of fast lightening punches before backing across the room and allowing people to come between you and then other chap. Then being held apart I suggest you go for the 'I'm going to f**king kill you mate' before allowing yourself to be held back gently, before rushing him one more time and smacking him around the head before getting thrown out.

That's the proper way to have a pub fight.

Or go and buy that bloody chalk board!

[MaryPoppins]

To offer someone out, is to invite them to meet you in the carpark or the street, in order to settle your differences with fisticuffs.

But, we're talking about 14 year olds, right? Not grown adult men?

[EternalOptimist]

But, we're talking about 14 year olds, right? Not grown adult men?

There was a very good portrayal in one of the Bridget jones films, with Huge Grant and Colin Firth. And, yes, it does happen IRL

[d000hg]

There was a very good portrayal in one of the Bridget jones films, with Huge Grant and Colin Firth. And, yes, it does happen IRL

Is that really the level of ineptness of real-life fights? I don't frequent venues that have fights as a rule...

[FiveTimes]

SY might have grown a pair, but the last group of people I'd be looking for a tear up with is a group of "possibly pikeys"

[EternalOptimist]

Is that really the level of ineptness of real-life fights? I don't frequent venues that have fights as a rule...

Fraid so. The real stuff happens so quickly you dont see it, I have very rarely see a proper scrap last more than two seconds. And when you are in a confined place, there is vey little room for skill. strength plays the major role, and nerve.

the thought of watching it build up for an hour, then making a formal declaration of hostilities -
I think suity is lucky to still have all his gnashers

[MarillionFan]

Fraid so. The real stuff happens so quickly you dont see it, I have very rarely see a proper scrap last more than two seconds. And when you are in a confined place, there is vey little room for skill. strength plays the major role, and nerve.

the thought of watching it build up for an hour, then making a formal declaration of hostilities -
I think suity is lucky to still have all his gnashers

WHS.

Pub fights take place quickly. On the whole they explode then simmer.

If you're going to be in a fight ,you need to decide to flee or fight very early. And if the worse happens and you think it's unavoidable I suggest you lamp the other person first. Too many times I've taken a number of sneaky punches trying to calm it down.

[jmo21]

Not sure why offering some pikeys a square is considered bedwetting? seems the exact opposite to me!

that being said I agree with many of the comments, withdraw your custom, sounds like it has already turned into a tuliphole.

Don't get yourself killed before Xmas, SY juniors need their old man around....even if he is a bit of a plank!