cats

[MaryPoppins]

You could refer to this thread it might help

I think the answer is within that thread:

Run very quickly at it while waving your arms and legs (is that possible?) about in a scary way.

[DimPrawn]

The answer's simple. Get yourself a cat. I've got two and I've not found a 'cat egg' in the garden for many years.

Don't take this advice.

I've got a cat () and it tulips 2 foot from the front door and back doors, tulips on the decking, tulips on the front gravel drive, front lawn and back lawn.

[EternalOptimist]

I used to think that cats did nice little sanitised poos, like owl pellets or something. I also used to think that I had the most revolting and rancid bum in the animal kingdom.

Then I met Mrs EO and her cats. I was forced to concede defeat after waging a ten year rear-guard action. Despite being fuelled by ten pints a night, various kebabs, curries and tins of beans, I was eventually forced to surrender by Brewster, and her weapons of mass destruction.

[hyperD]

No, they don't. They're nasty and gamey and tough.

My dear fellow, I disagree entirely, it's all in the marinating like any game bird and beast. If you follow these simple techniques, you will discover such wondrous flavours and textures not found in a commercially farmed chicken.

[MaryPoppins]

Just seen this, oddly. Some more useful replies for you possibly:

Mumsnet Discussions - To ask you if this is illegal? Cat related. Discussions - Am I being unreasonable?

[d000hg]

Our cat just has a litter tray with a door.

[RichardCranium]

No, they don't. They're nasty and gamey and tough.

My dear fellow, I disagree entirely, it's all in the marinating like any game bird and beast. If you follow these simple techniques, you will discover such wondrous flavours and textures not found in a commercially farmed chicken.

I'll lose my Super Tramp title at this rate.

PS Don't buy cheap 'meat' curries from all-night curry shops in Westbourne Grove.

Always buy your cat comestibles from a reputable Chinese take-away.

Talking of which, wanna know my roadkill recipe for a catshake?

[TimberWolf]

You're probably better off avoiding eating top predators, they accumulate all sorts of nasty things in their flesh, or so I heard or have just made up.

[NotAllThere]

Cats are pure evil. That's why I like them. Though I wouldn't own one.

If you're going to take pot-shots at them, bear in mind that they're classified under law as wild animals, not vermin. Wild animals harming/maiming/killing/torturing other animals is not illegal. Humans harming/maiming/killing/torturing animals is quite harshly dealt with.

Until someone comes up with a domestic animal, classified under law as a wild animal, that eats cats (or the law changes) - you're stuck.

I find a super-soaker, and mowing orange peel into the lawn quite effective against keeping cats away.

[hyperD]

Talking of which, wanna know my roadkill recipe for a catshake?

I'm all paws. Sorry, ears.