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Breaking news - England wins right to host World Cup!
Qatar for 2022, a country that's never managed to even qualify for a world cup.
Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired. - Cave Johnson
Short-arse, corrupt anti-British t**t! WTF do the Swiss know about football anyway?
Qatar? Are you having a laugh? Oh dear!
I think we should withdraw from FIFA and reinstate the Home Internationals tournament. At least England would get to win something and Scotland and Wales get to experience being in a tournament.
Guy Fawkes - "The last man to enter Parliament with honourable intentions."
ENGLAND'S bid for the 2026 World Cup will focus less on youth development and stadia and more on backhanders and polonium sandwiches, it has been confirmed.
As Fifa president Sepp Blatter announced Russia as hosts of the 2018 event, the Football Association stressed that next time it would simply hand out jiffy bags stuffed with crisp £50 notes along with the implicit threat of certain death.
An FA spokesman said: "We also realised we made a huge mistake bringing David Beckham and Prince William. Next time round we'll just get Kenneth Noyes and couple of Barbara Windsor's ex-husbands out on day release and then let them do a bit of mingling."
In Zurich, a delighted Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin said he was 'very very surprised' that his country's bid had been successful adding: "So, so surprised. I really am very surprised indeed.
"I am also very pleased for Mr Blatter and his colleagues. They must be incredibly relieved. I know I would be."
Shortly before the voting began the Russian FA ordered a waiter to offer round a tray of exotic fish paste sandwiches while Mr Putin stood behind him glaring menacingly at each committee member.
He then asked each of the Fifa officials if they were voting for Russia and if they hesitated or said 'no', Mr Putin immediately replied: "Take sandwich. Is good."
Russia's winning presentation used state-of-the-art computer graphics to depict each member of the FIFA voting committee cruising along the French Riviera behind the wheel of a Bentley Continental while sitting next to a large-chested blonde woman who was clearly attracted to them, to the strains of Beautiful Day by U2.
Guy Fawkes - "The last man to enter Parliament with honourable intentions."
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