Posters who've had loony partners

[Mich the Tester]

I claim my place on your list!

My ex was (is) a nutter of the highest order. Too many stories and too many painful memories to recount. But the pattern of self-delusion and lying is still going strong.

The most recent case in point was telling everyone, and I mean everyone, that she had some sort of incurable cancer. Yes, she'd been for tests and it was all confirmed. She had apparently even started chemotherapy.

This during Young Platypus #2 's GCSE exams. As you can imagine, the Young Platypuses found this hard to cope with. Almost as hard as when it transpired that this was a total fabrication

Oh well. It's all part of life's rich tapestry.

added!

[Mich the Tester]

When I finally split with the mental Irish one (the Hag) it was after a night out in the village where her and my folks live. She had a few drinks and was being fairly normal. Then her brother went home and it was like somebody flicked a switch. She started shouting her brothers name and running in and out of the pub looking for him - she wasn't pissed and she had just said goodbye. I was worried that she would run into the road and get ran over and then I'd not be getting any that night! My brothers went home to tell my folks that I was having problems with her and they came down in the Land Rover to give her a lift home. As soon as she saw it she went to the next level of ****tardidness and started kicking it and calling my parents all the names under the sun. We were all 'British Bastards' that night. Eventully I'd had enough and pulled her away from the Land Rover and she slid over into a muddy puddle - then all the attitude stopped and she was full of apologies and 'would do anything'. Unfortunately my mum and dad were still on the scene so I couldn't take advantage of this kind offer - by then her folks had turned up also!

The next day one of her mates asked if I'd go to meet here. I said no as I was watching a film on sky and although a tulip movie, it would probably have been better than speaking to her. In the end I went down because her mate was worried that she'd do something stupid. I then had 2 hours of her pleading to be taken back etc and me saying No over and over again. At one point she threatened to follow me back to England and would follow me to work and home. A few days later and I was catching the plane from Dublin and I clocked a girl accross the departure lounge who was the spitting image of her. I sat there staring daggers at her thinking that this loon was actually going to follow me back. Only when I passed her in the arrivals hall did I find out that it was somebody who looked a hell of a lot like her. I hope she wasn't a nervous flier and put off by that mental English guy who kept staring at her!

added!

[MaryPoppins]

Jesus - THAT rings a bell.... was he ex-merchant navy? I'm racking my brains, but I *know* I've met this person.

EDIT: unless that story has been told on here before, and I'm mis-remembering. But I don't think so.

Ooh brilliant. Not sure about the ex merchant navy bit, and I'm sure he would have mentioned it if he was. Arrogant little f&cker.

[Platypus]

This thread is making me wonder if I'm one of the only sane single females left on Earth.

You may well be - I was talking to an old friend at the weekend and remarked how his ex seemed to be hanging around him a lot these days. He said that they could never get back together as she was so volatile and violent. By way of example he told me how on one occasion she'd hit him in the head with a cricket bat while he was asleep. Another time she stabbed him in the shoulder.

[Bunk]

Jeez Tony. This thread is making me wonder if I'm one of the only sane single females left on Earth.

That's the problem, you all think you're sane but to us you're all as mental as each other I'm afraid.

[d000hg]

Is there any other kind?

6th Form? You know, the legal kind.

[MaryPoppins]

You may well be - I was talking to an old friend at the weekend and remarked how his ex seemed to be hanging around him a lot these days. He said that they could never get back together as she was so volatile and violent. By way of example he told me how on one occasion she'd hit him in the head with a cricket bat while he was asleep. Another time she stabbed him in the shoulder.

When he was ASLEEP! God!

I know a girl who has stabbed her boyfriend a few times. He was asking for it, mind.

[Mich the Tester]

When he was ASLEEP! God!

I know a girl who has stabbed her boyfriend a few times. He was asking for it, mind.

He's a nutter too.

I've heard of 'sit on my face', 'hit me with your rhythm stick' and 'yes, pull it tighter', but never 'stab me!'

[BoredBloke]

I went out with a girl in Nottingham once who had her boyfriend in tow on our second date! He had a quiet word when she went to the loo. She told me that he thought he was her boyfriend but wasn't - I didn't bother calling her again. I then met the nutter from the previous post. Out of the frying pan into a much bigger and hotter frying pan!

[MaryPoppins]

but never 'stab me!'

<tries to hold back jokes>