what to do?

[RichardCranium]

Mrs RC & I had a chat about this. She's a level headed, sensible woman. I have learned to ignore her advice at my peril. (Which is why we're still married, I suppose.)

She is over the moon she gets to spend a couple of 100 quid on a better weekend

More likely she will grin and bear it, but be badly hurt inside. It is clear the money means more to you than her, and that you think you can buy off her emotions. Her opinion is not important to you and you shrug off her attempts at showing affection, so you do not respect her. She went out of her way to think up a nice gift and you rejected it and showed you would rather be in work. This means you do not value her gifts nor her desire to spend time with you.

The weekend away that she thought up, arranged and paid for was not because she wants your money. It is because she wants you. Reject the gift and you are rejecting her.

Tell the PM you can do the weekend before, the weekend after, Christmas, Easter, anything, but not that weekend.

Unless, of course, the money means more to you than she does, in which case do the decent thing and dump her so she can get on with her life instead of stringing her along while her ovaries dry up.

[Platypus]

Surely the release will be late anyway?

Exactly... if the release is delayed by just one week, your plans with gf can remain. You have 6 weeks to cast doubt on the wisdom of doing whatever-it-is that weekend and to influence the team to bump it a week or two.

[Ignis Fatuus]

RC makes sense, it's not about the money. I.e. there is no amount that would make up for not spending that weekend together.

Is it about compromise? Both GF and PM need you. Are you equally responsive to both? I take the point that it may impact your future earnings: so now YOU get to decide whether it is more important than money.

FWIW before taking a contract I always announce "unavailabilites" already booked, including weekends; and if already on the project I block out those times on the calendar as "Private", again weekends included.

It is possible that there is a price that buys absolute priority for the client over the rest of my life, but I can't begin to think how many digits it would have in it.

[cailin maith]

If I were you, I'd work it. GF Chef won't like it but she will get over it.

Sometimes in our career, working when we don't want is necessary - a pain in the ass but necessary.

[MarillionFan]

I'd work the weekend.

You can always get another girlfriend, especially if you've got money from a contract. The reverse isn't true.

[RichardCranium]

I'd work the weekend.

You can always get another girlfriend, especially if you've got money from a contract.

MF, we don't normally call those ladies 'girlfriends'.

[MarillionFan]

MF, we don't normally call those ladies 'girlfriends'.

We also don't call those 'ladies' ladies :-)

[RichardCranium]

We also don't call those 'ladies' ladies :-)

... of the night.

I know you're paying for their services, but you could still show them some professional courtesy.

[sasguru]

Good grief! You lot work weekends?
How very unnecessary in the great scheme of things.
And how very uncivilised.

[EternalOptimist]

Good grief! You lot work weekends?
How very unnecessary in the great scheme of things.
And how very uncivilised.

be reasonable Sas. Chef has a real dilemma here
work for the weekend, or
work for a weak end