Things not to say on a first date

[suityou01]

1) Do you have any STDs?
2) When are you legal?
3) What I’m really looking for is a trophy wife.
4) You never really know a person. I might just be a serial killer.
5) You’ll love my daughter; she’s your age.
6) You’re my first date since I got out of jail.
7) You remind me of my mum/dad.
8) You look just like my ex.
9) Want to see pictures of my cat?
10) I know a guy who gives great discounts for boob jobs.
11) You sounded skinnier on the phone.

[SupremeSpod]

12) I post on an internet forum under the name of suityou01

[sasguru]

Things not to do on a first date ...

Pfffffffffffffffffsssssssssssssssssss!

Waiter, can you bring a mop please. My name is Suity and I've just pissed myself.

[Mich the Tester]

13) I work in IT

[Cliphead]

13) I work in IT

14) I play the guitar.

[DimPrawn]

15) I still wet the bed.

[suityou01]

16) I live in an ex council house in zone 1. It's got a really big garden though.

[oracleslave]

Pfffffffffffffffffsssssssssssssssssss!

Waiter, can you bring a mop please. My name is Suity and I've just pissed myself.

I love my brompton
I love my shed
I love my Aygo
Mathematics excites me

[doodab]

"I'll pay for the dry cleaning"

Unless you actually mean it.

[DimPrawn]

I love my brompton
I love my shed
I love my Aygo
Mathematics excites me

Did you know, in the 2007 property peak, my ex-local authority house was valued at over £900K. Pass the ketchup will you?