You have hemorrhoids, what do you do?

[Paddy]

I suffered from them from an early age and nothing seemed to cure the problem. It got to the point that I had the same symptoms of bowel cancer so the full operation was needed. In basic terms it meant cutting open the arse hole, bypassing and removing a vein and cleaning up my arse to make it porn-star quality. The surgeon was really good and had a sense of humour. I was on a Morphine drip and then a Paracetamol drip for days after. Following that it was two weeks of agony (like giving birth for two weeks) using a mix of pain killers.

Well worth it though as I can make some great turds that previously would have been impossible. Unfortunately I have not had any booking for my porn-star arse.

[suityou01]

I suffered from them from an early age and nothing seemed to cure the problem. It got to the point that I had the same symptoms of bowel cancer so the full operation was needed. In basic terms it meant cutting open the arse hole, bypassing and removing a vein and cleaning up my arse to make it porn-star quality. The surgeon was really good and had a sense of humour. I was on a Morphine drip and then a Paracetamol drip for days after. Following that it was two weeks of agony (like giving birth for two weeks) using a mix of pain killers.

Well worth it though as I can make some great turds that previously would have been impossible. Unfortunately I have not had any booking for my porn-star arse.

So you tout it on here?
I'll lay odds the first PM is from DP or MF.

[Wilmslow]

She once had to swab a bloke's helmet after he had went at it with a cheese grater.

Reminds me of when I worked in an A&E unit.

This bloke trapped his helmet in his trouser zip and came into A&E in complete agony.

Stitches were needed.

Because of where it was, the stitches would be as painful as the loco jab.

Therefore, the surgeon had to just go for it.

He said the immortal words “This is going to hurt you a lot more than it will me”.

Poor chap half laughing, half crying, with an audience of all of the A&E staff – woman rubbing their hands in glee, blokes wincing……..

[moorfield]

Use some of the superbly-titled Preparation H.

Marketing genius.

[Paddy]

Use some of the superbly-titled Preparation H.

Marketing genius.

I wonder if they have a similar animation for Thrush Cream

[TimberWolf]

Use some of the superbly-titled Preparation H.

Marketing genius.

Phew, they link them with constipation. Something I've never experienced despite being a salad dodger.