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Better than working

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    #11
    Originally posted by Wilmslow View Post
    Very good, but, where is the bassett hound that gives the clasping challenge?
    Wilmslow, now you are introduced to the world of women beware as Kipling makes clear:

    When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
    He shouts to scare the monster who will often turn aside.
    But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail,
    For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

    When Nag, the wayside cobra, hears the careless foot of man,
    He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can,
    But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail -
    For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

    When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
    They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws -
    'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale -
    For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

    Man's timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say,
    For the Woman that God gave him isn't his to give away;
    But when hunter meets with husband, each confirms the others tale -
    The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

    Man, a bear in most relations, worm and savage otherwise,
    Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise;
    Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact
    To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.

    Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lay the wicked low,
    To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.
    Mirth obscene diverts his anger; Doubt and Pity oft perplex
    Him in dealing with an issue - to the scandal of the Sex!

    But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame
    Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same,
    And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
    The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.

    She who faces Death by torture for each life beneath her breast
    May not deal in doubt or pity - must not swerve for fact or jest.
    These be purely male diversions - not in these her honor dwells -
    She, the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else!

    She can bring no more to living than the powers that make her great
    As the Mother of the Infant and the Mistress of the Mate;
    And when Babe and Man are lacking and she strides unclaimed to claim
    Her right as femme (and baron), her equipment is the same.

    She is wedded to convictions - in default of grosser ties;
    Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him, who denies!
    He will meet no cool discussion, but the instant, white-hot wild
    Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.

    Unprovoked and awful charges - even so the she-bear fights;
    Speech that drips, corrodes and poisons - even so the cobra bites;
    Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw,
    And the victim writhes with anguish - like the Jesuit with the squaw!

    So it comes that Man, the coward, when he gathers to confer
    With his fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her
    Where, at war with Life and Conscience, he uplifts his erring hands
    To some God of abstract justice - which no woman understands.

    And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the Woman that God gave him
    Must command but may not govern; shall enthrall but not enslave him.
    And She knows, because She warns him and Her instincts never fail,
    That the female of Her species is more deadly than the male!
    But I discovered nothing else but depraved, excessive superstition. Pliny the younger

    Comment


      #12
      And that's why you should be gentle with their stately pleasure domes, and you should certainly never suggest that their caverns are measureless to man.
      While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'

      Comment


        #13
        Originally posted by Gibbon View Post
        I can't edit my posts with the client browser and I ended up accidentally coping all the tabs from the poem page. ...
        Fixed it for you.
        Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

        Comment


          #14
          Originally posted by doodab View Post
          women love a man who knows a bit of poetry.
          Doesn't do it for me
          Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
          +5 Xeno Cool Points

          Comment


            #15
            Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
            Doesn't do it for me
            you like guitar playing if I remember correctly

            Comment


              #16
              Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
              Doesn't do it for me
              Prefer a bit of rough Eh?

              Get yer jugs out - I wanna grope!
              C'mon over 'ere n cop this!

              That sort of stuff?

              Sort of poetic... in a way!

              Comment


                #17
                Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
                Doesn't do it for me
                What does ?
                But I discovered nothing else but depraved, excessive superstition. Pliny the younger

                Comment


                  #18
                  Originally posted by Gibbon View Post
                  What does ?
                  A couple of lorry drivers and a PVC jumpsuit?
                  While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'

                  Comment


                    #19
                    Originally posted by Drewster View Post
                    Prefer a bit of rough Eh?

                    Get yer jugs out - I wanna grope!
                    C'mon over 'ere n cop this!

                    That sort of stuff?

                    Sort of poetic... in a way!

                    Sexual harrassment on CUK! By a bedwetter no less.
                    Hard Brexit now!
                    #prayfornodeal

                    Comment


                      #20
                      Originally posted by Gibbon View Post
                      What does ?
                      I don't know why - but I read that as an exasperated "What does?"

                      Sort of "I know it doesn't but I've tried everything else I can think of and it feel like I would be better off having a Pot Noodle by myself for all the good its doing..."

                      Or is that just projection?

                      Comment

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