Nhs

[suityou01]

That's a little bit harsh. Extreme lairyness is a common symptom of this sort of thing - he can't help himself.

MM, I meant my mother. She has been advised to step back from the whole affair, by her best friends's daughter, a social worker.

Apparently the hospital gloss over the facts, kid you on there is nothing wrong, discharge him into your care so he's your problem and they can get the bed back. (Not sure what to think)

So she has dropped him. He is now on his own, in hospital, in the progressive stages of dementure having been disowned by his own daughter.

Not going to post on here for a while. Thread closed.



PS I'll never leave him on his own. Time to man up, and get on with it. Whatever is best for him.

[Tarquin Farquhar]

Courage.

[cojak]

[cojak]

Dementia - a new way to treat it.

Specal charity (Specialised Early Care for Alzheimer’s)

[Board Game Geek]

SY,

I am so sorry about these recent developments, and the anguish everyone must be feeling.

I think it's fair to say that he is confused and frightened, and lashing out because of that.

If I was in the same position, I'd try to tactfully explain to his loved ones that he is in a very bad mental state at the moment, frightened, confused and in pain. That this behaviour is uncharacteristic of him, and not driven by his conscious, but by his fears and illness.

I'd ask them that if they were in the same postion, wouldn't they want someone to sit with them, just to be there, and reassure them ? To not judge the outbursts, because they are not intentional or deliberate, and just support them however they can ?

If they reply yes, then hopefully they can put aside their own fears, because it's obviously deeply upsetting for them to see him this way, and they might have a change of heart and face their fears by going to see him.

He needs hugs, love and support right now, and they have to learn to bite their tongues, and just let the abuse go in one ear and out the other.

If they can do that, then when he goes, they will be at peace with themselves and know they did the best they could, instead of remembering his end as one of abandonment and loneliness. That will no doubt screw them up at a later date too.

[Coalman]

Sorry to hear of your distress and hope the situation improves.

Good Luck.

[mudskipper]

[I did write a much longer version including details of my mother's death and my wife's uncle's dementia. Then deleted it - nobody needed to know the details.]

I don't think you're the only one. Anyone who has experienced a sick elderly parent (or grandparent) can empathise with SY01 - and it brings back to the surface the emotions felt at the time.

Group hugs.

[RichardCranium]

Group hugs.

Good idea.

[suityou01]

Visited today. He was asleep. I was promised the consultant and social worker would be there today to discuss with me his care and prospects. They were not there. Tomorrow now apparently.

Seeing as he was asleep, I deduced he was not drinking. Clever I is see. One of the things they urged him to do on Friday when he was admitted was drink lots of fluids. I checked his charts. He has (recorded on the charts) only had two cups of tea in the last two days. He has also been refusing food. I raised this with the ward sister. Lots and lots of nodding, and 'ok's' but no answers.

Blood pressure rising by this point. I ask if they keep a fluid intake log. Yes we do they said. Can I see? Sure ..... Er well we will keep a fluid log from tomorrow.

FFS. Politely kept interupting the ward sister every ten minutes with polite questions until in the end they paged the consultant. I have raised concerns that they could not provide evidence of his fluid intake. This struck a chord judging by their fallen faces.

Then I got some action.

CT Scan clear.
Heart echo clear.
Blood tests improving (white cell count normal, inflammation indicators still raised)
Cognitive tests passed.
Still on antibiotics.

It appears from what they say that if an elderly person gets a chest infection or UTI it knocks them sideways for days if not weeks. Confusion, behavioural changes the whole gamut of side effects. So he is sleeping it off.

So they aren't overly concerned he has had a stroke, and are waiting to see how he recovers from the infection. And it's not until I made a right fuss I get to find out about this.

Bet they'll keep a frakin fluid chart from now on.

[cojak]

Good grief....

Keep at it SY01 - you'll need to support your mum when she discovers all of this (she'll feel bad, but she did what was right for her at the time - she couldn't have coped had your Gramps continued like that. Shame the bloody consultant didn't tell her about this then...)