How to get out of contracting?

[EternalOptimist]

Blackened biker is right, its all about balance.

bank balance

[RichardCranium]

Dear Mr Styles

Due to this development we shall no longer be requiring your services and your employment will be terminated within 4 weeks.

4 weeks to steal the stationery cupboard's contents AND its re-stocking.

4 weeks to make "an off-site backup copy" of every bit of software they have.

4 weeks to send out LinkedIn updates and drop off business cards.

4 weeks to phone agents during ClientCo's time.

4 weeks to see how much totty you can pull.

4 weeks to learn new skills using ClientCo's live systems and resources as a testbed.

4 weeks of peeing in the kettle and putting decaff in the coffee machine.

Only 4 weeks, eh? How fast they will pass.

[cojak]

To: D Styles
From: H&S Executive

Subject: Improper use of stair handrail.

Doggie,

It has come to our notice that on Friday of last week you were not using the stair handrail as per instructions in the Mobility handbook.

If you have difficulty reading the the handbook or would like a demonstration, we will be happy to show you the correct way to ascend and descend the stairs.

Regards,

H&S

Remember – there is no such thing as an ‘accident’!

[RichardCranium]

To: D Styles
From: H&S Executive

Subject: Improper use of stair handrail.

Have you worked at <taken out with hindsight> Water Services too? Notices on all the staircases about proper use of stairs?

I thought it was a spoof when I saw the first one.

I got told off for being on the wrong side of the stairs when carrying loads of material up to a presentation. The empty-handed twat coming down refused to get out of my way and threatened me with reporting me to HR.

It's handy not having a Personnel record. Some people NEED to be told they are fckwits.

[cojak]

Have you worked at <taken out with hindsight> Water Services too? Notices on all the staircases about proper use of stairs?

I thought it was a spoof when I saw the first one.

I got told off for being on the wrong side of the stairs when carrying loads of material up to a presentation. The empty-handed twat coming down refused to get out of my way and threatened me with reporting me to HR.

It's handy not having a Personnel record. Some people NEED to be told they are fckwits.

Oh no, a government quango - they're all the same though...

I was highly sarcastic when I thanked them - and then pointed out that there's probably more germs on the handrail than a toilet bowl and asked them their thoughts on Swine Flu.

That made their eyes spin...