What would you buy Diver for Christmas?

[Diver]

A taxi to A&E.

Oh Hi Churchy!

I wasn't being suggestive to the luscious Irish Lass, Honest

Merry Christmas mate

[Churchill]

Oh Hi Churchy!

I wasn't being suggestive to the luscious Irish Lass, Honest

Merry Christmas mate

You too, my accident prone little mud-skipper!

[Zippy]

A good book

[RichardCranium]

A chain mail shark suit ... for day to day use.

(alternatively, for the Missus)

[Diver]

A good book

Excellent!

Thank you, I just bought it on ebay for £2.80 (Used)

Seriously

[Diver]

A chain mail shark suit ... for day to day use.

(alternatively, for the Missus)

I bet I could rip that off that bird with my teeth

[hyperD]

I bet I could rip that off that bird with my teeth

To quote the great Frankie Boyle:

Last night, I was watching Nigella Lawson, and I picked up a couple of tips on baking bread. And in the process I just about ripped my c**k off.

[shaunbhoy]

What would I give Diver for Xmas?
How about a Ronaldo DVD?

[RichardCranium]

To quote the great Frankie Boyle:

I think it was he that left me in tears with:

I saw this fellah shoplifting in Lidl's so I went up to him and asked "Just how poor are you, pal?"

[NotAllThere]

An almanac full of diuers information.