What was your first career choice?

[Diver]

It's a hard job and you have to bust your balls to make ends meet.

Not that hard!

Seems to me that Laying down on the job is prevalent

[Halcyon]

It's remarkable how many posts we've had so far, and there's no mention yet of wanting to be a porn star or a prostitute.

I thought those were just hobbies

[RichardCranium]

Fluffer.

It's remarkable how many posts we've had so far, and there's no mention yet of wanting to be a porn star or a prostitute.

KUATB

... or should that be "keep it up at the front"?

[darmstadt]

It's remarkable how many posts we've had so far, and there's no mention yet of wanting to be a porn star or a prostitute.

I did apply many years ago to act in 'adult entertainment' but they might not have taken me seriously due to slurred speech. A chap I know does it in the far east and earns a goodly sum

[stek]

WRT to the (male) porn star, I've always wondered how does;

1. One get it up more than twice a week? Stop action motion filmed over several months?

2. Project liberal streams of jizz on demand?

3. Grow one of those 'tashes?

4. Say 'ooooh baby that really makes me hard' without corpsing?

I am certain they use strap-on stunt dicks made of plastic with the guys tired old floppy knob sleeping inside and have a tube bluetacked behind with a bloke off-camera squeezing mayonnaise through it with a Kärcher car wash from Argos.

Trouble is, everytime I type 'porn-star tricks and techniques' in Google I end up getting the sack.

I'm actually quite serious about this, no guy over a certain age can jizz-off 10 times a session like that. I managed it five times in a day once but I was young and my balls ached for four days after.

[Diver]

stek!

I'm psychic. I foresee an absence of your posts on this forum in the near future

Woooo!

[stek]

stek!

I'm psychic. I foresee an absence of your posts on this forum in the near future

Woooo!

Oh no, I've already had two warnings!

And I've not insulted anyone, called them a sockpuppet or called anyone a disgrace to contracting...

[RichardCranium]

WRT to the (male) porn star, I've always wondered how does:

1. One get it up more than twice a week?

You need to go see your doctor. You may have a low blood pressure problem.

2. Project liberal streams of jizz on demand?

You asked, I shall tell. Bung in a catheter, pop a funnel on the end of the catheter and pour in as much white coloured liquid (e.g. sterilised milk) as is required. That goes into the bladder; the trick is then to 'urinate' this liquid whilst erect.

It isn't 'jizz'.

3. Grow one of those 'tashes?

Try buying newer DVDs. They tend to have a clean back, crack and sack these days. Or are referring to material intended for a gay audience?

4. Say 'ooooh baby that really makes me hard' without corpsing?

Dubbing.

[BoredBloke]

I wanted to be a lighthouse keeper because I figured it was the easiest job in the world. All you had to do was to remember to not switch off the light when you went to bed and if you could do that they would supply you with a free house near the beach and I'd just spend my times watching telly and sleeping. Wasn't impressed when I saw one on TV being resupplied by rowing boat in a storm as I didn't like the food they were giving him. So i decided I'd run a pub so I could have free beer. So far I've not done either!

[Doggy Styles]

KUATB

... or should that be "keep it up at the front"?

Whoops! Sorry, I didn't know what a fluffer is. Anyway, I'm delighted to see CUK normal standards resumed.

Although I've just remembered telling the careers teacher once that all I wanted to do was to play football for England in the 1978 world cup. They didn't qualify, which was part of the reason it remained an unfilled ambition. The other reason was that I was only a county league player, i.e. too crap.