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Not the world's greatest comedian, but what he says is spot on.
"In Britain you like to be owned by a house... I mean you like to own your house"
Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired. - Cave Johnson
I remeber a mate going to buy a mattress here some years back. Thinking that the word would be similar in German he ent into the shop asking for a 'zwei meter Matrose' which just happens to mean a 'two meter sailor.' Oh how the shop assistants laughed.
I recall asking the missus where I could buy a pouffe here to rest my feet on and she was very confused as that also means brothel here.
“Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.”
I was once discussing the snow conditions with my German colleagues. I said the snow had been a bit mushy. They didn't know the word, so I looked it up in my dictionary - "weichlich".
My (female) client manager burst out laughing. A little later, a male colleague told me that, at least locally, it means "wet", as in turned on lady...
otoh, my wife had a lot of fun telling an American (male) to look up smegma in the dictionary, after he'd watch his first episode of Red Dwarf... he was so embarrassed - repressed git.
I recall a German Engineering company that had some memorable employee names eg -a certain Christian Brothel and another Herr Killler - whose job was a manager - sounds like a formidable chap.
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