Originally posted by Mich the Tester
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IMF: UK faces credit rationing
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"See, you think I give a tulip. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a tulip? That's why I look interested." -
Originally posted by Mich the Tester View PostOne of my testers is working on securitisations right now; coming from a techie background he didn't understand anything about it, so I arranged for him to have some coaching sessions from the head of securitisation. Unfortunately, he doesn't understand much of it either and now I have the bank's securitisation department phoning my tester every day asking him questions about it. Does anybody really grasp securitisation?
- You take a steaming turd.
- You but it in a gold coloured box.
- You put a red ribbon outside the box.
- You attach a card where you write "Precious golden gift".
- You sell this precious thing to an idiot who intends to sell it on to another idiot for a profit, so your customer does not look into the box to verify that he has bought a "Precious Golden Gift".
- You pocket the money from your customer and spend it on bonus for the seller of the product (yourself) and on buying more boxed, ribbons and cards.
- Then you take a walk in the park in search of more "gold".
"Condoms should come with a free pack of earplugs."Comment
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Originally posted by ThomasSoerensen View PostI'll explain it:
- You take a steaming turd.
- You but it in a gold coloured box.
- You put a red ribbon outside the box.
- You attach a card where you write "Precious golden gift".
- You sell this precious thing to an idiot who intends to sell it on to another idiot for a profit, so your customer does not look into the box to verify that he has bought a "Precious Golden Gift".
- You pocket the money from your customer and spend it on bonus for the seller of the product (yourself) and on buying more boxed, ribbons and cards.
- Then you take a walk in the park in search of more "gold".
Is that all - I could even dispense with the walk as I could make my own 'gold'Rule Number 1 - Assuming that you have a valid contract in place always try to get your poo onto your timesheet, provided that the timesheet is valid for your current contract and covers the period of time that you are billing for.
I preferred version 1!Comment
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Originally posted by TonyEnglish View PostIs that all - I could even dispense with the walk as I could make my own 'gold'
- Sell a share from the seller to the buyer
don't dis them"Condoms should come with a free pack of earplugs."Comment
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Originally posted by Menelaus View PostI'd be astonished if we didn't get a ratings downgrade.Originally posted by MaryPoppinsI'd still not breastfeed a naziOriginally posted by vetranUrine is quite nourishingComment
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Originally posted by d000hg View PostCan anyone explain what real-life implications this would have?
BOOMED, theoretically, for me
ps, actually I don´t have a clue as all I do know is that these credit risk programs are actually in many cases more like an automated Mystic Meg and not even the designers or developers have a bleeding clue what they do.Last edited by Mich the Tester; 30 September 2009, 16:18.And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014Comment
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Originally posted by d000hg View PostCan anyone explain what real-life implications this would have?
In general bond issuers or other lenders in the UK would have to pay more interest in order to get funding.
If it gets really bad you get cut off from normal international lending markets.
That will force the government to spend less than they bring in - quickly! That is painful for normal citizens as unemployment benefits and healcare is cut away.
Think Zimbabwe."Condoms should come with a free pack of earplugs."Comment
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Originally posted by Mich the Tester View PostOne of my testers is working on securitisations right now; coming from a techie background he didn't understand anything about it, so I arranged for him to have some coaching sessions from the head of securitisation. Unfortunately, he doesn't understand much of it either and now I have the bank's securitisation department phoning my tester every day asking him questions about it. Does anybody really grasp securitisation?Comment
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Originally posted by d000hg View PostCan anyone explain what real-life implications this would have?Comment
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Originally posted by BlasterBates View Postno problem, short of money?......just print some more.
Comment
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