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IMF: UK faces credit rationing

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    #11
    Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
    Does anybody really grasp securitisation?
    Not well enough to explain it to anybody else, so I guess that's a no...
    ‎"See, you think I give a tulip. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a tulip? That's why I look interested."

    Comment


      #12
      Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
      One of my testers is working on securitisations right now; coming from a techie background he didn't understand anything about it, so I arranged for him to have some coaching sessions from the head of securitisation. Unfortunately, he doesn't understand much of it either and now I have the bank's securitisation department phoning my tester every day asking him questions about it. Does anybody really grasp securitisation?
      I'll explain it:
      • You take a steaming turd.
      • You but it in a gold coloured box.
      • You put a red ribbon outside the box.
      • You attach a card where you write "Precious golden gift".
      • You sell this precious thing to an idiot who intends to sell it on to another idiot for a profit, so your customer does not look into the box to verify that he has bought a "Precious Golden Gift".
      • You pocket the money from your customer and spend it on bonus for the seller of the product (yourself) and on buying more boxed, ribbons and cards.
      • Then you take a walk in the park in search of more "gold".
      "Condoms should come with a free pack of earplugs."

      Comment


        #13
        Originally posted by ThomasSoerensen View Post
        I'll explain it:
        • You take a steaming turd.
        • You but it in a gold coloured box.
        • You put a red ribbon outside the box.
        • You attach a card where you write "Precious golden gift".
        • You sell this precious thing to an idiot who intends to sell it on to another idiot for a profit, so your customer does not look into the box to verify that he has bought a "Precious Golden Gift".
        • You pocket the money from your customer and spend it on bonus for the seller of the product (yourself) and on buying more boxed, ribbons and cards.
        • Then you take a walk in the park in search of more "gold".

        Is that all - I could even dispense with the walk as I could make my own 'gold'
        Rule Number 1 - Assuming that you have a valid contract in place always try to get your poo onto your timesheet, provided that the timesheet is valid for your current contract and covers the period of time that you are billing for.

        I preferred version 1!

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          #14
          Originally posted by TonyEnglish View Post
          Is that all - I could even dispense with the walk as I could make my own 'gold'
          this is complex for the banker boys. It has more steps than their old product.
          • Sell a share from the seller to the buyer


          don't dis them
          "Condoms should come with a free pack of earplugs."

          Comment


            #15
            Originally posted by Menelaus View Post
            I'd be astonished if we didn't get a ratings downgrade.
            Can anyone explain what real-life implications this would have?
            Originally posted by MaryPoppins
            I'd still not breastfeed a nazi
            Originally posted by vetran
            Urine is quite nourishing

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              #16
              Originally posted by d000hg View Post
              Can anyone explain what real-life implications this would have?
              Well, international banks use complicated risk models to calculate the credit risk and necessary reserves when lending to businesses and one of the variables is the home country of the particular business. There are lots of other variables too, but this is quite a big one. It´s more difficult for a Nigerian business to raise money from international banks than, say, a German business. So what happens is that those businesses who need credit move their head office to a country with a good credit rating, like Holland. Theoretically. So theoretically, contractors working in Dutch banks get rich.
              BOOMED, theoretically, for me

              ps, actually I don´t have a clue as all I do know is that these credit risk programs are actually in many cases more like an automated Mystic Meg and not even the designers or developers have a bleeding clue what they do.
              Last edited by Mich the Tester; 30 September 2009, 16:18.
              And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

              Comment


                #17
                Originally posted by d000hg View Post
                Can anyone explain what real-life implications this would have?
                BoE bonds would have to pay a higher interest rate.
                In general bond issuers or other lenders in the UK would have to pay more interest in order to get funding.

                If it gets really bad you get cut off from normal international lending markets.

                That will force the government to spend less than they bring in - quickly! That is painful for normal citizens as unemployment benefits and healcare is cut away.
                Think Zimbabwe.
                "Condoms should come with a free pack of earplugs."

                Comment


                  #18
                  Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
                  One of my testers is working on securitisations right now; coming from a techie background he didn't understand anything about it, so I arranged for him to have some coaching sessions from the head of securitisation. Unfortunately, he doesn't understand much of it either and now I have the bank's securitisation department phoning my tester every day asking him questions about it. Does anybody really grasp securitisation?
                  Yes. Feel free to PM me

                  Comment


                    #19
                    Originally posted by d000hg View Post
                    Can anyone explain what real-life implications this would have?
                    It costs more for the UK to borrow money and thus the interest rate we have to pay to gilt holders increases ... meaning increased taxes.

                    Comment


                      #20
                      Originally posted by BlasterBates View Post
                      no problem, short of money?......just print some more.

                      Like Zimbabwe.

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