Shall we all go and take the piss?

[The Lone Gunman]

Lakeside International, Frimley on the 18th of November


Ignite your career opportunities today!

Elan is working in partnership with EDS on a new and exciting recruitment project in the M3/M4 corridor.
As part of the recruitment drive, EDS with Elan would like to invite you to an open day on Friday the 18th November from 10am until 7pm at ;

Lakeside International & Continental Hotels, Frimley, Nr. Camberley, Surrey

EDS are looking to recruit over 100 IT professionals, ideally with experience of working in the defence/military sector, who have a background in the following areas:

• <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 10pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Management (Programme, Project, Configuration and Bid) <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 10pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Analysts (Project, Business or Requirements) <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 10pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Developers (SQL, Oracle, Powerbuilder, C++, Access or Java) <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 10pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Communications/Messaging (X.400/X.500) <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 10pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Testing (Managers and Testers) <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 10pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Architecture (Systems, Solutions and Technical)
• As well as a large variety of Application related positions!

The open day provides you with the opportunity to talk to EDS's technical and management staff to discuss what kind of role you are looking for. So why don't you come along for the day to find out more.

Who are EDS?

EDS provides a broad portfolio of business and technology solutions to help its clients worldwide improve their business performance. Their core portfolio comprises information-technology, applications and business process services, as well as information-technology transformation services.
EDS was established in the United Kingdom in 1984. Since then the business has substantially grown and developed and now serves more than 120 major clients across most industry sectors. The EDS Defence services division based in Andover, Hook, Fleet, Portsmouth and Bicester offers many solutions to the Defence Industry including:

• <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 8pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo6; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Military lifecycle logistics and supply chain management <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 8pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo6; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Command and Control - systems and support <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 8pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo6; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Personnel, training, and administration <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 8pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo6; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Military medical health services <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 8pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo6; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Information security <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 8pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo6; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Defence secure infrastructure <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 8pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo6; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Specialized applications <LI class=MsoNormal style="LINE-HEIGHT: 8pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo6; tab-stops: list 36.0pt">Knowledge management
• Program management

When is the Open Day?
On the 18th of November from 10am until 7pm

Where is the Open Day?
Lakeside International & Continental Hotels
Wharf Road
Frimley Green
Nr. Camberley
Surrey
GU16 6JR
Telephone: 01252 838000

M3: Junction 4

1) Down to the roundabout.
2) Take 2 nd exit to Frimley
3) Take slip road on the left for Frimley
4) At the top of the road turn left towards Frimley.
5) At roundabout turn right (3rd exit) for Frimley town centre.
6) At the roundabout, by the Old White Hart Pub, turn left.
7) Follow road (Frimley Green Road), you will see Johnson's on the right. Straight over next roundabout.
8) At the next roundabout (the green is on the right) and you take a left onto Wharf Road. The EDS open day is 200 yards on the right
9) Take first left into car park and come in the main entrance.
10) We are in the Peninsular Lounge straight on.

To find out more
Please confirm your attendance and send us your updated CV we can source suitable roles for you in advance. For further information please call or email us using the details below:

Contact: Alexandra Walton on 0161 924 3936 or
Russ Hoyle on 0113 201 0323

Email: [email protected]

[privateeye]

take your darts with you to this world famous beer belly venue.

first to score 180 gets the PM job

[mcquiggd]

Friday 19th November... whats the betting it's delayed until April 1st..?

Then they'll charge you entry.

[DaveB]

Damn, and I just accepted a new contract as well. Think the client will let me out of it?

[Xenophon]

Who are EDS?

EDS provides a broad portfolio of hair-brained business and technology solutions to help (but usually fail) its clients worldwide improve their business performance. Their core portfolio comprises information-technology, applications and business process services, as well as information-technology transformation services - attracting under-performing hapless, shambling buffoons.
EDS was established in the United Kingdom in 1984. Since then the business has featured in numerous detrimental write-ups in the press and now annoys more than 120 major clients across most industry sectors.

[DaveB]

Do they employ people with beards these days?

As if that makes much difference...

Nope, and I can say that from experiance. I went for an interview with them about 6 months ( I know, I know, I didnt know any better at the time ) ago and failed to get the job. I also have a beard. Coincidence? I dont think so

[Xenophon]

Do they employ people with beards these days?

Yes. Jeff Wacker.



Pity his first name wasn't Dick...

[ratewhore]

Stands to reason. They are currently failing to resource the project I work on with permies so have to try and find them from somewhere. Until then, I shall continue to fleece them senseless...

[datestamp]

Who are EDS?

EDS provides a broad portfolio of hair-brained business and technology solutions to help (but usually fail) its clients worldwide improve their business performance. Their core portfolio comprises information-technology, applications and business process services, as well as information-technology transformation services - attracting under-performing hapless, shambling buffoons.
EDS was established in the United Kingdom in 1984. Since then the business has featured in numerous detrimental write-ups in the press and now annoys more than 120 major clients across most industry sectors.

A classic summary. Made me laugh.

[stackpole]

A classic summary. Made me laugh.

I have a more concise version.

EDS jump aboard bigco and government gravy trains, string them out, and feck them up.