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1. Every thread longer than 20 posts must have at least 4 tangential off-topic discussions on the go.
2. The more random the off-topic discussions, the better.
3. Any opportunity to have a party in a thread started by a newbie must not be wasted.
4. Do not allow Threaded near the fridge at one of these parties.
5. Any threads containing advice on AGW, the economy and share-dealing must contain the emoticon.
6. Any thread started by Cybertory, Wilmslow or NickyG must contain the emoticon.
7. Geek Points should be used as the de facto CUK currency, with Xen as the principal issuer of credit and clearing house.
8. CUK meetups should have at least one raving drunkard arriving early and passing out halfway through.
9. Do not, under any circumstances, admit to fancying someone's avatar.
10. The following words should be added to the swear filter: 'work', 'appraisal', and all the surnames of cabinet ministers over the last 13 years.
11. Lurkers out.
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