Love poems to gordon brown

[HairyArsedBloke]

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."

Sorry, can't think of anything.

[Doggy Styles]

Even my Vogon mate has had a go, look:

See, see the absent sky
Marvel at its big sick-hue depths.
Tell me, Gordon do you
Wonder why the warthog ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel necrophallic.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your grostibibble facial growth
That looks like
A rotten cucumber.
What's more, it knows
Your hampton potting shed
Smells of bogey.
Everything under the big absent sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm dead fishes.

[minestrone]

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!

[Doggy Styles]

Of all the crap we've voted in
'cross centuries of e-lecting

You've got to be the worst one yet
You've landed us with so much debt

Buggered up our industry
And wrapped red tape round everything

You lied about the EU plot
And eat your bogeys - gross or what!

Before you pull another stunt
F*** off Gordon, you're a c***

[oracleslave]

Of all the crap we've voted in
'cross centuries of e-lecting

You've got to be the worst one yet
You've landed us with so much debt

Buggered up our industry
And wrapped red tape round everything

You lied about the EU plot
And eat your bogeys - gross or what!

Before you pull another stunt
F*** off Gordon, you're a c***

[BrianSnail]

Of all the crap we've voted in
'cross centuries of e-lecting

You've got to be the worst one yet
You've landed us with so much debt

Buggered up our industry
And wrapped red tape round everything

You lied about the EU plot
And eat your bogeys - gross or what!

Before you pull another stunt
F*** off Gordon, you're a c***

I even spat out tea!

[Svalbaard]

I'm so proud of you all.

Your efforts so far put Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex to shame. Her effort "Ode to Gordon" is reproduced below for reference:

The dead Gordon lay in the stagnant pool.
He lay. He rotted. He turned
Around occassionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off him from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
He also smelt a great deal.

[sasguru]

Gordon Brown
You're a clown.
Not just a c**t
You're also a twunt.


HTH

[realityhack]

Gordon, you tw@t
You think you're safe from harm.
Well Gordon, that's that,
It's time you bought the farm.

Said for the sake of a rhyme, I have no intention of assassinating any world leaders. Now please make the black helicopters go away. Thanks.

No, sod that, if you come near me you're losing all your front teeth, you saggy bag of bile. And your friend Kenneth, too.

And, for that matter, Harriet Harperson, Jaqqi Smithers, Hazel Bliers, Ed Ballsup, and the whole, sorry lot of you.

And half the civil service.

And Russell Brand.

And that bloke from the One Show.

And Tony Benn.

[realityhack]

Gordo, what can we do with you?
Kidnap you for a ransom? No -
Lop off your balls and willy too
And lock you in the Playboy mansion.