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You've been abducted by aliens

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    #11
    How can I prove who killed JFK?
    ‎"See, you think I give a tulip. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a tulip? That's why I look interested."

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      #12
      Can you leave the fee on the dressing table

      See you, you ****. I'll cut you first...

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        #13
        Where's Glenn Miller?
        Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired. - Cave Johnson

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          #14
          There was an Arthur C. Clarke novel where they were able to view the past (but not interact) using some science magic. An interesting aside in the book was a project being set up called "The 10,000 Days" where thousands of people used this technology to watch/record every minute of Jesus' life.
          Of course it turned out the truth was that there's wasn't much special, but it was an interesting idea.
          Originally posted by MaryPoppins
          I'd still not breastfeed a nazi
          Originally posted by vetran
          Urine is quite nourishing

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            #15
            Originally posted by DiscoStu View Post
            You can ask anything you like about what's happened on Earth since life began and will get a true answer.

            What would you ask them?
            I want to know more about our most distant ancestor (great, great,...*^loads grandfather) - the first reproducing organism.

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              #16
              what are the next euromillions rollover lottery results?
              The proud owner of 125 Xeno Geek Points

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                #17
                Originally posted by DiscoStu View Post
                After the obligatory anal probe, the aliens reveal they've been recording absolutely everything that's happened on Earth since life first appeared. They have a database that contains every event, every conversation, etc etc.

                In return for your rectal compliance they offer to answer you one question. You can ask anything you like about what's happened on Earth since life began and will get a true answer.

                What would you ask them?
                I'd ask them to provide the date and time they were planning to throw my personal information including banking details on a skip so I could arrange to get my passwords / pins changed etc.

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                  #18
                  Dunno
                  Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

                  C.S. Lewis

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                    #19
                    Why did they leave a copy of the database on a memory stick on the seat of the number 15 omnibusaucer from Alpha Centauri to Rigel?

                    You've come right out the other side of the forest of irony and ended up in the desert of wrong.

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                      #20
                      Originally posted by DiscoStu View Post
                      After the obligatory anal probe, the aliens reveal they've been recording absolutely everything that's happened on Earth since life first appeared. They have a database that contains every event, every conversation, etc etc.

                      In return for your rectal compliance they offer to answer you one question. You can ask anything you like about what's happened on Earth since life began and will get a true answer.

                      What would you ask them?
                      Is Zeity your son?

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