What's the worst gig you ever had?

[NotAllThere]

Working near birmingham as development lead. I should have realised there was something wrong when I found that the team of four was a team of two, as two had just quit... Then I found out I needed to do a progress report twice a week to the psycho-permie-project manager. ( I mean, not just Upton Park, but Barking ). ... and the functional team would be mostly unavailable before the testing phase.

Thankfully the flights changed which gave me a decent get out.

Took me 6 weeks to get paid.

[EternalOptimist]

Worst ever was at a big retail bank. The manager in charge of the finance team had spent a year trying to get a simple application developed, but she had hired an accountant and sent him on a two week VB course. When she realised it was going to flop, they got me in to take over.
I read the spec and told them it was a six weeker. She introduced me to the steering commitee, the project management board, project manager, business analyst, testers and in infrastructure. All this for a six week job

Every day we sat down for a fifteen minute review, she was very impressed, it was doing everything required by the spec.
Every day I ask her, is there anything you expect to see here that is missing ?
'No its all fine'
End of week six, last day, evertything was ready for Monday go-live, she sits down and says 'lets give this baby a real thrashing. How do I get to the budgets ?'
'Er, budgets, what budgets ?'
'Obviously if we are reporting off the GL we need budgets'
'When you say obviously, it wasn't actually obvious to me at all'
'How long will it take to include budgets ?'


So I got a spec and we were ready to go live again, two weeks later.
She sits down and says 'great budgets. Now how do we export and import from Excel'
'Er export and import from Excel ?'
'Obviously we need to get the budgets in from excel and export them for amendment'
'When you say obviously, it wasn't actually obvious to me at all'
'How long will it take to include import/export ?'

'You would be better off asking my replacement because I'm outta here'

[Fred Bloggs]

Sounds a shame, you could have got a long service award from that job!

[HairyArsedBloke]

'Obviously we need to get the budgets in from excel and export them for amendment'

Flippin' heck - shouldn't need to be a mind reader or mystic Meg to know that it's needed.

[Sockpuppet]

I've never had a bad contract.

I just think of the money and smile.

[MarillionFan]

Worst ever was at a big retail bank. The manager in charge of the finance team had spent a year trying to get a simple application developed, but she had hired an accountant and sent him on a two week VB course. When she realised it was going to flop, they got me in to take over.
I read the spec and told them it was a six weeker. She introduced me to the steering commitee, the project management board, project manager, business analyst, testers and in infrastructure. All this for a six week job

Every day we sat down for a fifteen minute review, she was very impressed, it was doing everything required by the spec.
Every day I ask her, is there anything you expect to see here that is missing ?
'No its all fine'
End of week six, last day, evertything was ready for Monday go-live, she sits down and says 'lets give this baby a real thrashing. How do I get to the budgets ?'
'Er, budgets, what budgets ?'
'Obviously if we are reporting off the GL we need budgets'
'When you say obviously, it wasn't actually obvious to me at all'
'How long will it take to include budgets ?'


So I got a spec and we were ready to go live again, two weeks later.
She sits down and says 'great budgets. Now how do we export and import from Excel'
'Er export and import from Excel ?'
'Obviously we need to get the budgets in from excel and export them for amendment'
'When you say obviously, it wasn't actually obvious to me at all'
'How long will it take to include import/export ?'

'You would be better off asking my replacement because I'm outta here'

LOL. Classic.

That brings it all back. Which gig was that? I went for an interview at a big retail bank sometime in the late 90's. Exactly the same as above, but when I went in, I spent some time with the young lad who had been expected to develop this tool. I basically reviewed what he had done and said, nah, you're looking at least a six week redev here, but I dont have time. I told his manager as well and she asked me to put a spec together so they could give it to a contractor who had the time.

God I forget where.

[scooterscot]

LOL. Classic.

That brings it all back. Which gig was that? I went for an interview at a big retail bank sometime in the late 90's. Exactly the same as above, but when I went in, I spent some time with the young lad who had been expected to develop this tool. I basically reviewed what he had done and said, nah, you're looking at least a six week redev here, but I dont have time. I told his manager as well and she asked me to put a spec together so they could give it to a contractor who had the time.

God I forget where.

Moving goal posts - it happens every now and again

I get the client to sign to something these days. Next time it does not do what they expected I wave the signature in front of their face...

[TykeMerc]

Moving goal posts - it happens FREQUENTLY

I get the client to sign to something these days. Next time it does not do what they expected I wave the signature in front of their face...

I'm not a software dev, but I often manage dev projects, getting sign-off for requirements, specs and features is critical routine, I won't initiate a work package until they're all signed off, agreed and understood.

I won't write out my worst gig since even thinking about it makes me want to utilise a molotov cocktail on the place, suffice it to say that the client actively threw up roadblocks for every viable solution to the problems they were paying me to get fixed. The one plus was that they paid very well and on time.

[EternalOptimist]

Moving goal posts - it happens every now and again

I get the client to sign to something these days. Next time it does not do what they expected I wave the signature in front of their face...

Yeah, but the problem is this, once they explain what they want it makes sense and you appreciate it needs to be done, even though it wasnt in the original request. They are just no good at their job. If you go ahead and follow the spec blindly, you may as well buy a turban and a dodgy accent.

[Gonzo]

Yeah, but the problem is this, once they explain what they want it makes sense and you appreciate it needs to be done, even though it wasnt in the original request. They are just no good at their job. If you go ahead and follow the spec blindly, you may as well buy a turban and a dodgy accent.

<SHAKES HEAD>

Change control people, change control.

Get the client to sign off the brief.

If they want to change it further down the line then that is fine, they just need to understand that changes have an impact on delivery date and / or cost. Get them to sign off the agreed changes too.