how do i stop the bleeding?

[BrilloPad]

I dunno. I'll ask Mrs Gonzo. She seems to manage it once a month.






<HANGS HEAD IN SHAME >

JUst dont ask her during rag week. If anything like Mrs BP she might just be in a bad mood.

[EternalOptimist]

just cut the end of my thumb off with a kitchen knife.

can't stop the bleeding.

any bright ones?

ta, eo.

try having the other arm pulled out at the socket. The next time you are at a dinner party and someone says 'paper cuts, they hurt worse than having your arm off'
you can come back with the killer riposte 'I don't fking think so'

[JoJoGabor]

What were you doing using a sharp knife at 4am? Drunk?

[Board Game Geek]

Edge play, I suspect.

[PRC1964]

Edge play, I suspect.

I imagine you saying that in a Ronnie Barker "fork 'andles" voice and now want to now why he was playing with 'edges at 4 AM.

[thelace]

Best solution is just to suck on it until it stops, recycling the blood you see

[Clippy]

just cut the end of my thumb off with a kitchen knife.

can't stop the bleeding.

any bright ones?

ta, eo.

Post your predicament on an IT contractors forum and hope you get a (useful) response before you bleed to death.

[bogeyman]

I presume it has stopped bleeding now. Either that or you are coming to us from 'beyond the veil'.

For future reference.

If the blood is not actually spurting : -

1) Apply pressure to the wound using a sterile dressing (but kitchen towel will do).

2) Elevate the wound above the level of your heart (higher the better) and keep it there.

Did none of you lot ever do basic first aid?

[DaveB]

I presume it has stopped bleeding now. Either that or you are coming to us from 'beyond the veil'.

For future reference.

If the blood is not actually spurting : -

1) Apply pressure to the wound using a sterile dressing (but kitchen towel will do).

2) Elevate the wound above the level of your heart (higher the better) and keep it there.

Did none of you lot ever do basic first aid?

Yes, but it's far more fun to point and laugh
( at least when the injury in question is not life threatening )

[bogeyman]

Yes, but it's far more fun to point and laugh
( at least when the injury in question is not life threatening )

I revel in schadenfreude as much as the next CUK poster, but I think there is a chance that EOs mishap could still prove to be life-threatening.

Instead of attending to his wound, he spent time posting on CUK using his no-doubt grotty and bacillus-laden keyboard, and so will probably develop sepsis in the next 48 hours or so.