Health and Safety Warning

[WageSlave]

Dear All,

I would like to remind you that the wearing of shoes is dangerous. Laces easily untie and can potentially cause the wearer to stumble whilst caring a knife and impale colleagues. Staff are therefore requested to wear slippers at all times.






*Sorry, currently suffering from a bad bout of H&S circulars.

[SupremeSpod]

Dear All,

I would like to remind you that the wearing of shoes is dangerous. Laces easily untie and can potentially cause the wearer to stumble whilst caring a knife and impale colleagues. Staff are therefore requested to wear slippers at all times.






*Sorry, currently suffering from a bad bout of H&S circulars.

What's the air pressure required to inflate a lizard to point of explosion assuming all orifices are sealed?

[WageSlave]

What's the air pressure required to inflate a lizard to point of explosion assuming all orifices are sealed?

What's the pelvic thrust rate required to make a woman's orgasm burst ear drums?
Dammit, I need a volunteer!

[SupremeSpod]

What's the pelvic thrust rate required to make a woman's orgasm burst ear drums?
Dammit, I need a volunteer!

What? Speak up damnit, my hearings not what it used to be!

[Rebecca Loos]

What's the pelvic thrust rate required to make a woman's orgasm burst ear drums?
Dammit, I need a volunteer!

Jez, if you can get me an orgasm like that, I do volunteer!

[The Lone Gunman]

and watch out for those flip flops too

Warning: Your Flip Flops Could Kill You Wearing trendy flip flops could kill you, according to new research.The fashionable footwear - ideal for the beach in hot weather - are putting the lives of road users at risk.Three in every four motorists have admitted they find it hard to drive in flip flops and road safety experts have warned that wearing the sandals in the car could be a lethal decision.

Researchers claim a flip flop, worn by millions, can easily get stuck under the pedals and cause a fatal accident, The Sun says.

Craig Martin, spokesman for Norwich Union who carried out the poll, told the newspaper: "Footwear such as flip flops are dangerous as the sole can get caught under a pedal.

"The absence of ankle support can lead to the foot slipping off the pedal altogether."

Leigh Purves, gossip columnist for the Daily Star, is among those to have had a close call while driving with designer flip flops.

She has told how, while travelling on the M1, her sandal got stuck under the brake pedal and she missed another car "by millimetres".

The Sun also says that German researchers revealed last year that 14 out of 25 pairs of flip flops they studied contained toxic chemicals known to lower sperm count in men and attack the liver, kidneys and reproductive organs.

[SupremeSpod]

The Sun also says that German researchers revealed last year that 14 out of 25 pairs of flip flops they studied contained toxic chemicals known to lower sperm count in men and attack the liver, kidneys and reproductive organs.

You're not supposed to eat the feckers!

[Rebecca Loos]

Mmmmh, I think I know what's next:


Labour to pass stringent anti-flip flops laws

Tony Blair has revealed a plan to add extra officers on Britain's beaches to nab "dangerous flip flop drivers". An extra £5bn will be made available to police forces in Devon, Cornwall and South Wales to provide extra manpower. Flip-flop cameras will be installed on any car park that is located under 200 yards of a beach and police will have powers to stop the vehicle, impound the vehicle and issue a £350 on-the-spot fine.

"Flip-flop drivers are the most dangerous and selfish drivers at the moment" claims Cornwall Police Chief Imar Idmycousin, "and I fully intend to protect the public at large by stopping this dangerous trend before it develops. This could be the new drink driving."

Road safety campaigners have called for more cameras on the road to catch this new breed of drivers. Gordon Brown has promised to set aside £5bn for developing a satellite system that would track the movement of any flip-flops sold in Britain. The system would be financed by a flip-flop tax collected at every beach gate in addition to a special tax issued on IT contractors who in the Treasury's opinion "are the highest flip-flop users in the country"

Additional reporting by Rebecca Loos, Newquay.

[WageSlave]

Jez, if you can get me an orgasm like that, I do volunteer!

Okay, Beccy, let's advance science

[Rebecca Loos]

Mmmm - I need proof that you can perform said pelvis thrust