I was telling you about the time I got pushed out of a helicopter onto St Kilda. Its strange how you wait for years for a noteworthy thing to happen, then a few come along all at once.
Anyways, I am sprawled out on the big H and the sergeant says to me, 'ok corp, in the back of the rover , off to the cookhouse and help cheffy unload the fresh food. No more iron rations for us boys'
Iron rations is the name given to the food that soldiers eat in the field when there is no cookhouse facility or fresh food available. Now the military dont want you leaping out of your trench to go for a poo when you are in action, so the food is designed to bung you up. These guys had been on iron rations for weeks and they were getting totally hacked off.
So I arrived in the cookhouse and explained to the cheffy that only one of the ten choppers would be coming and that the next scheduled drop was in ten days. 'Never mind, we have ten sacks of fresh stuff here, that is about 4 -5 weeks worth'
So he cuts open the first sack with his knife and his eyes glaze over 'Just look at that, have you ever seen anything so fkin beatiful ? Spanish onions, look at the size of the fkers. Brilliant'
'Bring me the second sack corp'
So I drag over sack number two. riippp 'Oh wow, looks like another sack of onions cheffy'
sack number three - onions
you can guess the rest.
I'll never forget the sight of that man raging around the cookhouse, with a razor sharp knife in his hand shouting and crying at the same time 'useless bunch of fking cnts, w@nkers, stupid @rse-pieces. I'll fking kill them. They sent me a years fking supply of fking onions, not a fking potato or carrot. I'll fking kill them.
'I like onions sergeant'
He looks at me, and a cruel smile lights up his face
'Do you corp? do you ?'
so I beat a hasty.
With our iron rations we had, boiled onions, fried onions, stuffed onions, roast onions. Onion soup, raw onions. Onions with added onions.
Anyways, I am sprawled out on the big H and the sergeant says to me, 'ok corp, in the back of the rover , off to the cookhouse and help cheffy unload the fresh food. No more iron rations for us boys'
Iron rations is the name given to the food that soldiers eat in the field when there is no cookhouse facility or fresh food available. Now the military dont want you leaping out of your trench to go for a poo when you are in action, so the food is designed to bung you up. These guys had been on iron rations for weeks and they were getting totally hacked off.
So I arrived in the cookhouse and explained to the cheffy that only one of the ten choppers would be coming and that the next scheduled drop was in ten days. 'Never mind, we have ten sacks of fresh stuff here, that is about 4 -5 weeks worth'
So he cuts open the first sack with his knife and his eyes glaze over 'Just look at that, have you ever seen anything so fkin beatiful ? Spanish onions, look at the size of the fkers. Brilliant'
'Bring me the second sack corp'
So I drag over sack number two. riippp 'Oh wow, looks like another sack of onions cheffy'
sack number three - onions
you can guess the rest.
I'll never forget the sight of that man raging around the cookhouse, with a razor sharp knife in his hand shouting and crying at the same time 'useless bunch of fking cnts, w@nkers, stupid @rse-pieces. I'll fking kill them. They sent me a years fking supply of fking onions, not a fking potato or carrot. I'll fking kill them.
'I like onions sergeant'
He looks at me, and a cruel smile lights up his face
'Do you corp? do you ?'
so I beat a hasty.
With our iron rations we had, boiled onions, fried onions, stuffed onions, roast onions. Onion soup, raw onions. Onions with added onions.
- good one EO.
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