Fathers For Justice

[Diver]

Simple - they should not make stupid mistakes by marrying the wrong person, as otherwise they would have to do the same, or maybe use the alternative path - act in self-interest rather than the child ones.

People should not get kids unless they are 100% sure they will remain together.

People change, events change people.

Are your thoughts and feelings, your beliefs, hopes and goals the same now as they were ten years ago?

Some people meet their lifetime partner and will love each other for the rest of their lives, others fall in love and the love turns to familiarity, and familiarity breeds contempt in many cases.
Stress can turn love to hatred faster than any other cause.

Nobody can predict how they will feel in ten years time, Nobody.

[AtW]

Are your thoughts and feelings, your beliefs, hopes and goals the same now as they were ten years ago?

Pretty much so. The point here is that for the sake of kids parent have to sacrifice - I am not saying never divorce, but if you have kids then divorce should really really be the last resort.

If understand correctly the main issue of F4J is that of kids - if that means so much to them then they should not have divorced.

[Diver]

Pretty much so. The point here is that for the sake of kids parent have to sacrifice - I am not saying never divorce, but if you have kids then divorce should really really be the last resort.

If understand correctly the main issue of F4J is that of kids - if that means so much to them then they should not have divorced.

And brought the children up a house where tension is palpable?
Basically a hostile development arena for a growing and impressionable child.
Sometimes it is better for the parents to separate, but only if an amicable and child friendly arrangement of custody and access can be agreed between the parents.

A parent using a child as a tool to get back at the other partner should automatically bar that parent from ever seeing that child again, because that parent has no consideration whatsoever for the happiness and welfare of that child.

[realityhack]

People change, events change people... ...Nobody can predict how they will feel in ten years time, Nobody.

Amen to that - never a truer word spoken.

You get married as the person you are now - as I will be this time next month. I know I'm in love with her, and she's in love with me - but the future can turn for or against you. These are the uncertainties people face before even the gravest of commitments, because people change, and life changes people.

The future is uncertain. If it wasn't, there'd be no divorces, no CSA, no family courts. AtW - as much fun as it is bantering with you... in this case, you haven't a leg to stand on, sorry.

[AtW]

And brought the children up a house where tension is palpable?

No, they should find compromise to avoid tension.

[Diver]

No, they should find compromise to avoid tension.

As they do on here?

Get real AtW. If two people hate each other, then there is no compromise if they remain together.
Apart the tension can ease enough for an amicable arrangement to be made.
Together, the tension just increases to a point where both parties become totally irrational.

[realityhack]

No, they should find compromise to avoid tension.

I was brought up by divorced parents - from the age of 4.
My fiancee's parents aren't divorced - they're estranged. They've done the best they can to hold it together 'officially' for the sake of their children - as you suggest. But they're only human.
As far as I can see - the fallout from either situation is as bad as the other. Natch.
You can have your lofty ideals and smoke them. Be in that situation and then lecture us all.

[AtW]

Be in that situation and then lecture us all.

No, I would not be in this situation - there are way too many divorces in the west, as much as I dislike religions I have to admit they had some point in reducing divorce rates.

[Churchill]

No, they should find compromise to avoid tension.

AtW, Divorce is too emotive a subject for anyone who's never experienced it to fully understand the situation and the consequences.

It's all very well saying that a compromise should be found but there are times when that just can't happen. I would certainly advocate a separation in these circumstances.

Fistly AtW, you're not married.

Secondly, Squirrels aren't children.

And finally, life and relationships are something you experience, you don't get it all by reading a book.

[SueEllen]

AtW do you realise that 75% of divorces in the UK are initiated by women?

Do you also realise if someone wants to divorce you in the UK then you can't stop it?

Do you realise that in divorces where one person in a couple tries to fight it, it just makes the solicitors rich?

Oh and I can tell you the reasons why some women have got divorced as I've asked them. Unfortunately my mother would never say why she split up from my dad as she refused to s*** him off in front of us, and she liked some of his family.