Reply to: Fathers For Justice

[Peoplesoft bloke]

Anything I sent to CSA was in yellow. First thing they did was photocopy it - gave them great issues...

Not having a go (really I'm not) just interested - what was your beef with them? I have no axe to grind as I've seen this from both sides.

[BrilloPad]

Anything I sent to CSA was in yellow. First thing they did was photocopy it - gave them great issues...

[threaded]

I don't think they need any help with that...

IIRC someone deleted all the records of people whose surnames began with H and P one time.

So they sent them all them people all the forms, all over again.

Allegedly.

threaded in "they didn't have a backup on a mainframe" mode

[BrilloPad]

Or another class act is to get a contract up in Newcastle and just cause chaos.

I don't think they need any help with that...

[threaded]

Another game you can play is sending the CSA what you owe them plus £1. Then ask for the £1 back. causes chaos...

Or another class act is to get a contract up in Newcastle and just cause chaos.

[BrilloPad]

Out of interest, just how frequently does he have pay to keep the CSA just about satisfied? Just askin' like.

Another game you can play is sending the CSA what you owe them plus £1. Then ask for the £1 back. causes chaos...

[Platypus]

The other thing that they will notice is that he only remembers their birthdays on a random basis. In fact I know that upsets them now - so I guess it will really start to bite later on.

Absolutely shameful and I hope it will bite later on

[Peoplesoft bloke]

Kids aren't stupid.

At some point normally between ages 15 and 18 when they work out the value of money and talk to their friends' whose parents are also divorced they will ask about maintenance.

Your sister can chose to lie, or not say anything like my mother did but they will find out.

Excellent points. I was thinking about this last night. The kids' Dad may think he's being clever not coughing up, but they will work it out. My Sis is honestly not after cash for Jimmy Choo shoes (or Radley bags etc) she just wants to give the kids a decent crack at stuff. OK they aren't going to starve, but one day they may figure out that maybe they could've done more Sports and Lesiure activities if their Dad had coughed up what he owed - it's not like it's a fortune or he couldn't afford it. He hasn't remarried and he doesn't have any other kids.

The other thing that they will notice is that he only remembers their birthdays on a random basis. In fact I know that upsets them now - so I guess it will really start to bite later on.

[SueEllen]

That's the beauty (from his point of view) - he pays on an apparently random basis, never ever the correct amount (usually a few quid short) and always claims to have paid everything he should have when challenged. As a result they have made no serious effort to get it sorted, despite prompting and even a letter to my Sis's MP (for all the good that did!). The problem is, she doesn't want to upset the kids by making too much of a big deal out of it.

Kids aren't stupid.

At some point normally between ages 15 and 18 when they work out the value of money and talk to their friends' whose parents are also divorced they will ask about maintenance.

Your sister can chose to lie, or not say anything like my mother did but they will find out.

[Peoplesoft bloke]

Out of interest, just how frequently does he have pay to keep the CSA just about satisfied? Just askin' like.

That's the beauty (from his point of view) - he pays on an apparently random basis, never ever the correct amount (usually a few quid short) and always claims to have paid everything he should have when challenged. As a result they have made no serious effort to get it sorted, despite prompting and even a letter to my Sis's MP (for all the good that did!). The problem is, she doesn't want to upset the kids by making too much of a big deal out of it.

[Platypus]

My sister's ex has been really effective at paying maintenance just infrequently enough for the CSA not to be rrsed with him.

Out of interest, just how frequently does he have pay to keep the CSA just about satisfied? Just askin' like.

[Peoplesoft bloke]

Don't know depends what magazines and surveys you read.

Anyway your previous comment was a bit flippant. Not every woman looks at their best friend and thinks that could be me, particularly as the friend is likely to ring them up moaning about the ex playing around with the dates he has agreed to see the sprogs or skipping child maintenance payments.

Most of the divorces I know about are among people who are childless, got married straight from university to someone of similar earnings and then realised they hadn't lived. In lots of cases they still talk to each other.

My sister's ex has been really effective at paying maintenance just infrequently enough for the CSA not to be rrsed with him. He's also very very good at acting daft (thick) when challenged by CSA, court etc, whilst throwing a spanner in the works of any kind of attempt to get him to cough up. He does see the kids often, but he often cancels without any warning which can cost my sis dearly (she's self -employed).

On the other hand (as I mentioned before) my ex engaged Lady Di's lawyers to try and get maintenance from me (we had no kids and both worked). I think she was sad to see her meal ticket slipping from her grasp.....lawyers got very rich, but I did get a clean break in the end - I am never getting married again.

[BrilloPad]

In my case and lots of my friends' cases contract was never officially arranged as our dads lived very nearby. However in my dad's case he had a habit of not being available so I was forced on him.

I am sorry to hear that.

One of my friends who is divorced with children has an agreement over contact. Everything about their divorce was sorted out between them without court intervention as they soon realised that they were just making the solicitors rich by arguing.

really really good news. Imagine having a fire and the fire brigade turn up and pour napalm on it....

[SueEllen]

There are no stats on how many men do not turn up for contact (I would love to see some).

In my case and lots of my friends' cases contract was never officially arranged as our dads lived very nearby. However in my dad's case he had a habit of not being available so I was forced on him.

One of my friends who is divorced with children has an agreement over contact. Everything about their divorce was sorted out between them without court intervention as they soon realised that they were just making the solicitors rich by arguing.

[ratewhore]

My ex is a right royal pain in the a**. Divorce does that to both parties as we obviously have different agendas. No doubt we will always have a certain amount of conflict in our relationship.

Having said that, I have my kids probably around 50% of the time. Contracting allows me that flexibility as does moving to the same village as her (which po**ed her off no end buit is great for the kids). I hear the stories and speak to people and ultimately, I haven't got it so bad really.

There are those who have though, clearly...