Management Speak

[robnjc]

Heard in todays project meeting:

Manager: "We have a lot more confidence in going live with the application now than if we'd gone live in November".
Translation: "We could not make it work at all in November."

Manager: "This confidence is borne of all the additional testing we have been able to. do"
Translation: "We now have the critical defects to a point where we can count them on the fingers of one hand".

Manager: "This confidence also enables us to compress the roll-out schedule""
Translation: "We are over a year overdue and we're running out budget and excuses".

Why can't they just tell the truth

 

[BrilloPad]

Heard in todays project meeting:

Manager: "We have a lot more confidence in going live with the application now than if we'd gone live in November".
Translation: "We could not make it work at all in November."

Manager: "This confidence is borne of all the additional testing we have been able to. do"
Translation: "We now have the critical defects to a point where we can count them on the fingers of one hand".

Manager: "This confidence also enables us to compress the roll-out schedule""
Translation: "We are over a year overdue and we're running out budget and excuses".

Why can't they just tell the truth

I think we need blue-skjy thinking on this issue - lets run it up the flag-pole. Though it might by a different kettle of ball-games. Anyway, I am sure we have a window of opportunity to sort this out.

HTH

 

[Xenophon]

We're going to need to get our ducks in a row if we want to have any hope of parking our cars in the same garage.

 

[realityhack]

Are you on the bus? You'd better get on the bus if we're to raise the bar and up tier our output this quarter, no time for wallflowers here my friends - you've got to pluck the low hanging fruit and create more output with less effort.

etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum...

 

[youwhut]

Can we touch base before the close of play?

 

[Sysman]

Can someone pass the sick bucket please?

 

[Ruprect]

we had "move the ballpark" this week - I think this is a combination MS - do I win £5?

 

[swamp]

I often hear the word 'performant'. As in 'the system is performant', meaning it runs fast enough.

Trouble is 'performant' isn't a word in the English language.

 

[Jason]

Performant is part of the SLA speak.. not strictly managment speak. These are two different dialects.

 

[Jason]

Satisfising is an example of pure management speak