A Course I am going to do

[BrilloPad]

I told the gf I would never get married or have kids, and was going to have a snip. She had been told she was infertile so I did not have snip. She became pregnant and we have a 3 month old - which is very hard work at my age.

[El_Diablo]

Moral of the story Billo?

Oops 'Brillo'

My most sincere apologies, Brillo.

[BrilloPad]

I am permanntly tired and hacked off - some of my family turned their back on me during the divorce and I fight egularly with the rest. WEll I fight regularly with everyone.

[BrilloPad]

I have a slipped disc which leaves me in constant pain. I have things to do every second of the day. When I sleep I get nighmares every night - mostly involving death and mass destruction.

[BrilloPad]

Lucy - any questions so far?

[Lucy]

I felt sad when I read your posts BP. I imagine it might be difficult to trust your gf after this 'mistake'.

Take time for yourself with whatever makes you happy, even if it is just for 15minutes a day - more time is better, however it is really important for you to take care of you. Re arguing with everyone, you might be really tired, sounds like it, or you might want to do some work around your emotional boundaries; ie letting others have their opinions without the need to argue them around to your point of view. I know if I am having a big feeling I am not going to do much very well, all I can do is feel my feeling and journal it, and look after myself. If I feel my feelings more often they will not be overwhelming and need medicating... well, that is the idea.

I have always looked for partners and expected my family to validate and affirm me, I finally realise I am the only one who can do this, and no-one can look after me as well as I can.

BP, sorry I didn't read your final post, hmm, slipped disk is hell, I had one and had accupuncture which fixed it, amazingly, after I was told I needed surgery. Nightmares and nighterrors sometimes indicate some big stuff going on in your unconscious, take care, you might want to see a decent psychotherapist - look for one with buddhist leanings.

Hope this helps.
L.

[sasguru]

I felt sad when I read your posts BP. I imagine it might be difficult to trust your gf after this 'mistake'.

Take time for yourself with whatever makes you happy, even if it is just for 15minutes a day - more time is better, however it is really important for you to take care of you. Re arguing with everyone, you might be really tired, sounds like it, or you might want to do some work around your emotional boundaries; ie letting others have their opinions without the need to argue them around to your point of view. I know if I am having a big feeling I am not going to do much very well, all I can do is feel my feeling and journal it, and look after myself. If I feel my feelings more often they will not be overwhelming and need medicating... well, that is the idea.

I have always looked for partners and expected my family to validate and affirm me, I finally realise I am the only one who can do this, and no-one can look after me as well as I can.

BP, sorry I didn't read your final post, hmm, slipped disk is hell, I had one and had accupuncture which fixed it, amazingly, after I was told I needed surgery. Nightmares and nighterrors sometimes indicate some big stuff going on in your unconscious, take care, you might want to see a decent psychotherapist - look for one with buddhist leanings.

Hope this helps.
L.

Troll is the one ...
HTH

[BrilloPad]

I felt sad when I read your posts BP. I imagine it might be difficult to trust your gf after this 'mistake'.

Take time for yourself with whatever makes you happy, even if it is just for 15minutes a day - more time is better, however it is really important for you to take care of you. Re arguing with everyone, you might be really tired, sounds like it, or you might want to do some work around your emotional boundaries; ie letting others have their opinions without the need to argue them around to your point of view. I know if I am having a big feeling I am not going to do much very well, all I can do is feel my feeling and journal it, and look after myself. If I feel my feelings more often they will not be overwhelming and need medicating... well, that is the idea.

I have always looked for partners and expected my family to validate and affirm me, I finally realise I am the only one who can do this, and no-one can look after me as well as I can.

Hope this helps.
L.

I am now at the stage where nothing makes me happy - except seeing the kids which makes me tired which makes me resent them. I took 2 weeks off over christmas - I go back to work MOnday - and still feel my stress levels are at maximum.

Thing is I quite like arguing with people these days - when my sister turned her back on me over the divorce I told her her first husband was far better than her second. Which hurt her as it is true. The head, founder and mentor of f4j (Matt O'Connor) described me as "the most evil c*** I have ever met". I was the 4th person arrested on f4j active service.

I also argue alot with people at work - ClientCo has bought in alot of cheap permies - mostly foreign - one or two are okay but most are idiots. Worse still they are mouthy idiots. Now its nice to think I am indespensible - but I usually get called on to clear up the mess they have made. I just wish I had the energy to search for a better job - but it is hard when you are 44 in an ageist industry.

I agree that family and friends should support one. Friends you can change but family you can't.

[BrilloPad]

Troll is the one ...
HTH

The pyschotherapist with buddhist leanings?

[sasguru]

The pyschotherapist with buddhist leanings?

It's a side of himself he's kept from us...