Loo Seat Issue

[DodgyAgent]

Nature of liquid.

Is it applied liberally or sparingly.

Are you employing people from the 3rd world to whom a WC is a new concept?

it is either water or p***

[BrowneIssue]

Do what most managers do when the staff have a problem that is bothering them: nothing.

[AtW]

it is either water or p***

You tasted them?

[DodgyAgent]

I could ask beaker to come in and clean them regularly, though the "do nothing suggestion" is the best so far

[BrowneIssue]

Next time someone mentions it, say "This is clearly a race issue and I will not tolerate such behaviour. The next person to mention this matter will be sacked and you can tell the others I said so."

[AtW]

Take wee for a DNA test.

[BrowneIssue]

On Monday, come in with a box of cotton buds and a roll of small, clear sandwich bags. Fetch a permanent marker.

Go round each keyboard and telephone and wipe one with one end of a cotton bud and the other with the other end of the cotton bud. Put the cotton bud into a sandwich bag. Write the desk occupant's name on the bag. Do not explain. Move on to the next telephone & keyboard.

When you have finished, announce to the office, that next time you notice a "dampage issue" on the loo seats, you will do as advised by the corporate security consultants and send the samples off to them for analysis.

Then head for your car and go out for the rest of the day.

[BrowneIssue]

Take wee for a DNA test.

Yeah, what AtW said!

[DimPrawn]

it is either water or p***

Or lager. Hard to tell these days.

[DodgyAgent]

Or, as has been suggested, it is an opportunistic attempt by existing staff to create an "us" and "them" situation. The evidence has now been "wiped clean".